Help! Should I make a sex tape with my boyfriend?


Sex tapes have been a “hot topic” for a while now. From Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, to the new movie starring Cameron Diaz, sex tapes get people talking. But what happens when your partner wants to make one? Is it the best idea or should you steer clear? As always, Emily has your answer.

Q: Dear Emily,

Recently my boyfriend and I were discussing our fantasies and he admitted that he has always really wanted to film us having sex. I think it could be fun, but I’m also kind of nervous. How do I go about making a sex tape? Is this even a good idea? HELP!

Thanks so much!


Dear Tiffany,

So you’re thinking about making a sex tape..

Now, before you go renting a video camera, investing in a Brazilian wax and planning out your spray tan, you should first assess the situation at hand; consider the motives behind your interest in the risky business of homemade pornography. What I mean is, make sure that this is something you’re excited about, something you actually WANT to do, and not something you’re jumping into because your boyfriend talked you into it.

Do it because it is fun (and it will be fun)!

Okay, now that we’re clear on  the motivation, let’s discuss preparation! If you follow these simple guidelines, you’ll be the master of your own sex tape domain in no time.

1. The Mood: In this situation, having the right kind of lighting is very important, and not just so you look good. You also want to be able to see what is going on in the moment.. After all, that is the point of this, right? You don’t need any fancy lighting equipment – Just try some subtle lamps and sexy candles to set the mood and create ambience. The better the lighting, the better the sex will look!

2. The Build: Great films (and great sex!) are all about building anticipation. Don’t throw off your clothes like a basketball player who just got called off the bench. Take your time with it. This is your time to pull out your sexiest lingerie- you know those bras and panties you bought on a whim, but never know when to wear them? The more intimate items you pile on, the better, because you can slowly peel them off and tease out that sexual tension.

3. Warm Up: Remember those massage candles? They’re not only there to provide excellent ambience . You can also bring those babies in to play! Take turns giving each other sensual massages for the camera, using the warm, luxurious oil to give one another full body rub downs. This will look very sexy on film, plus it will feel amazing on your naked, glistening body and make for great sex!

4. Let Go: You already know that the best sex is when you get into the moment. If you’re self-conscious about your body or facial expressions the camera will pick up on (and so will your partner). Focus on how you’re feeling in the moment and less on what you look like. Trust me, your O-face is going to look better if you’re not trying to turn it into a flat line.

5. Shake it: Let’s be honest here: The last thing you want is to be bored by your own sex tape. If he’s just doing is the ol’ in-and-out and you’re lying there like a corpse, this won’t be pretty. Get into it, girl! Switch up your positions, moan when something feels good, touch your partner like you mean it and look into his eyes.

Think of the sexiest porn you’ve ever seen, or those moments in bed with your partner that are so hot that you wish you could re-live them over and over again, and keep them in mind while the camera is rolling. Do what turns you both on the most, because that’s all that matters.

Which brings me to my number one tip for a successful sex tape experience: shoot, watch, delete. I’ll say it one more time – Shoot it. Watch it. DELETE IT. There are a collection of distasteful Ex-Girlfriend porn sites dedicated to girls who trusted their man and did not hit that erase button and now have their genitals online for everyone to see.

Now that you know the risks and the requirements: let’s talk rewards. When done right, there is something very erotic and intimate about recording and watching your sexual fantasies with a partner. The surveillance factor of a watching camera creates an added thrill, and watching it later can actually reignite that same kinky flame. So enjoy your on-screen debut, watch it a few times together and then say buh-bye.

After all, there’s always the chance of a sequel!



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Want more Sex With Emily? Check out my podcasts for free on iTunes, my bookHot Sex and my iPhone apps Kegel Camp and Sex Drive. Check out my new intimate care line Emily & Tony for massage candles that turn into luxurious massage oil and DownUnder comfort to stay fresh and dry down there. Use Coupon Code SEXWITHEMILY or 20% off. Also, use coupon code EMILY for 15% off at Good Vibrations. These are my favorite sex toys and vibrators from Good Vibes: Sex Toy Recommendations (some restrictions apply). Never tried the #1 Male sex toy. Get a Fleshlight Here.

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