One of my best friends just came to me with a crisis. She brought her new beau home and her sister didn’t like him. Just flat out said “nope” to this new guy. Her sister said the newbie reminded her too much of my friend’s horrible ex and that my friend is going to fall into the same dud dude trap again. Woof! That’s tough to hear, right? My friend is really into this man and thinks he’s nothing like her icky ex. But, she’s freaking because she’s not sure if she should listen to her sister. If you’re wondering the same thing, here’s how to tell if you should or shouldn’t ignore the red flag your family’s waving about your boo.
How have they treated others?
Think about how your family has reacted to other people you’ve brought home. Are they typically nitpicky or welcoming? Have they done the same thing to past guys or are they specifically concerned about one guy. If your family has never thought anyone you liked was good news, then it’s easy to write them off. If it’s just one guy they’re worried about, that feels like you should give their red flag waving some attention.
Do you respect their opinions?
Not everyone has a great family. Sad, but true. I have friends who want to their lives exactly how their parents raised them to live and others who don’t share any values with their parents. If your value your family’s take on relationships and life, listen to them. If not, then don’t worry about their disapproval of your boo. If you don’t value their opinions on most things, you shouldn’t value them on something this personal.
Have you already had doubts?
Here’s the real question. Are your family’s opinions bothering you because they speak to a deeper concern you have, but maybe haven’t acknowledged? Are you worried about the same things they are with this guy? Their red flag waving might be getting under your skin because it was already under your skin…like deep under your skin, in your gut. Check in with yourself and see if anything your family is saying sounds familiar because you’ve been whispering to yourself.
This advice helped my friend and I hope it helps you guys, too!