So you’ve finally met someone. You go, girl! Wondering if it’s getting serious enough for this amazing man to meet your kid? While some single moms choose to introduce new boyfriends right away, others wait. It’s really a matter of preference.
I’ve always been a waiter. I’m pretty picky about the men I bring into my own life, so you can imagine how picky I am about who I bring into my son’s. I’ve never wanted to introduce someone to him and a few months later have to explain why “so-and-so” isn’t around anymore.
I’m not in a race to move in with anyone again, and I always remember this isn’t just my life anymore; it’s my kid’s life too. My son’s well-being is my top priority, so I really like to get to know someone before I bring them around him.
If you think the time is right to introduce someone to your child, here are my tips to doing it with less stress.
No Great Expectations
Don’t walk into that first meeting with the expectation that everyone will magically click. Of course it would be nice, but you can’t force anyone to like anyone. There may be some awkward moments during your first interactions, especially if it’s been awhile since your children have seen you with a guy, but go with the flow. Let everyone meet and take things from there.
The More The Merrier
Have the first few meet-ups with your child in a group setting. What about a get-together at your home with friends and your new guy? Introduce him as a friend and your child will have the chance to get to know him in a fun, relaxed, no-pressure situation. A group setting is less intimidating. Does your guy have kids of his own? Then treat your first meeting like a playdate and put the focus on the kids meeting each other instead of them meeting the two of you.
I strongly suggest not being affectionate with each other during your first few hangouts. It’s ok for your boyfriend to just be known as a friend for now. One step at a time. Save the kissing and handholding for your alone time together until your child gets comfortable with the new dynamic.
Slow And Steady Wins The Race
Remember, you might be head over heels in love, but your child is probably going to need time to get used to things. Watch their reactions when you’re together. Shyness is one thing, but being completely uncomfortable is another. If you sense they’re having issues, talk to them. Are they feeling anxious? Slow down if you have to. Your boyfriend doesn’t have to be included in everything you do just yet. Good things come to those who wait!