The Men's Room - Love and Relationship Advice From a Man For Women

Are You Vulnerable Enough?

VulnerableDoes this word scare you?


How does that word make you feel?

Be honest.

Right now, sit in it for one moment.

Read it.


How does the word vulnerability make you feel?

Vulnerability scares the hell out of some of us. Others just embrace it, as it’s the only way to live. But the only way we will ever become truly vulnerable is to live with our feelings in the moment.

A friend of mine went out with this woman. He said she was one of the most amazing women he’s ever been out with. I asked him why. He said she was comfortably uncomfortable in her vulnerability.

I thought about this statement for a second.

The term “comfortably uncomfortable in your vulnerability” is really sexy to me. So, I asked him to describe it a little bit more.

He said, “She’s on this vulnerable kick in life, she’s trying to get in touch with herself. So the vulnerability is what she really desires and wants, but it’s something that really scares her and that’s interesting.”

I asked how it made him feel.

He says it makes him feel amazing to be in her presence, because he feels like he’s experiencing something brand new, and isn’t that what this is all about?

I thought about that for a moment, and realized he’s right.

Being present, and living in the moment and being true — being 100% vulnerable is experiencing something you have never experienced before.

Think about this…

When we first fall in love when we are younger, the beauty of it was we fell in love with something new. You must remember your first love. It was all so different and so new. And then you become an adult, where you got closed off or hurt or scared, and you have had experiences.

As we get older vulnerability becomes something we fear instead of embrace.

But this really rang true what this woman said to my friend. She wanted to experience something for the very first time all over again. To choose to be vulnerable as a conscious adult, to do so as somebody who has done a lot of work on themselves, and knows what it is to fail.

To do so as somebody who realizes that they haven’t felt these things before, this choice of vulnerability is brave.

It’s sexy and it’s hot.

I’m excited for my friend. I’m excited that he’s with somebody who is opening up right in front of him, a person so present because that’s what vulnerability is all about.

It’s about being present in the moment. There is no guarantee in life; there are no guarantees when you open up to somebody.

That’s the beauty of all this.

There’s no guarantee about anything, and this is what makes love grand: the opportunity to be fully self-expressive, in the moment, with no guarantee.

Being open means you’re putting yourself out there like it’s your very first time. It means doing it in an authentic, present, and open way.

It’s a place we all need to go, a place we all need to get to, and it’s the only place we’re going to find a true, amazing love we all desire. In fact, I wrote a blog all about this at my site called, “The Power Of Vulnerability”

You should definitely check it out!

Photo credit: DJOtaku / CC BY-NC-SA