Patti's Blog

7 Habits that ruin relationships

I love love. That doesn’t mean that I think relationships are all Eskimo kisses and conversation hearts though. Relationships are tough work. But, there is a way to make your relationship easier. Ready for it? Stop sabotaging! That’s right, sabotage. Here are the worst offenders.

Expecting without communicating

You want him to take out the trash or be nicer to your cat or stop wearing those dorky Hawaiian shirts, but he’s not doing it. Before you give him a personalized tour of his brand new doghouse, take a second and think. Here’s a guy who loves you and wants to make you happy. Why isn’t he doing exactly what you want? My guess is that he doesn’t know exactly what you want because you didn’t tell him. Instead, you assumed he should know. Ladies, unless you’re dating a psychic, the only way your men are going to know what makes you happy is if you tell them. Plain and simple.

Obsessing about your future

Moving in, marriage, kids. It all going to be so great together, how can you not talk to your cutie about it? Girl, you’ve got to pump the brakes. Those things will only come if your relationship lasts and if you turn every date night into a pressure-filled conversation about your five year plan, that ain’t gonna happen. How about spending your energy making the days count instead of wasting them away by pressuring him for a next step? The next steps will come naturally, and if they don’t then you can have that conversation.

Putting him down

Ok, so your guy has a few things that are less than perfect. Maybe it’s his tattered boxer collection or his grody apartment or that blimp with teeth he calls his ex-girlfriend. Why not make a little fun? But I’m telling you, a little romantic ribbing can get out of hand really quickly, so avoid over doing it. Your relationship should be a support system, not a Comedy Central roast.

Blabbing to your buds

I know your best friends are like sisters and you’ve always shared everything with them but when you’re in a serious relationship, everything can’t really mean everything. Your guy needs to be able to trust you completely and know you won’t tell all of your girls his personal secrets. Once you get serious, think of your relationship like a trip to Vegas. What happens there, stays there… aside from a few pics you post to Facebook.

Dumping on him

There is a huge difference between a supporter and a dumping ground. I know that I’m stating the obvious here, but after a crappy day of work, getting caught in the rain, being stuck in traffic, and coming home to a sick baby, the difference might not appear that big. It’s easy to take out your frustration on your honey, but you have to stop, stop, stop! He’s there to help, but not to be hurt. Be sure you’re relying on him the right way and reciprocating when it’s the other way around.

Getting too busy

I know what it’s like to be busy, believe me. But no matter what your schedule throws at you, make time for your guy. It’s not doing him a favor, it’s doing yourself a favor. You don’t want your favorite person in the world to become a stranger, right? So take a few minutes (it can even be seconds), every single day, to let him know that you’re thinking of him.

Skipping sex

You didn’t think I’d forget this one, did you? Sex is so, so, so important to keeping a relationship happy and healthy. My rule is to hit the sheets (or the kitchen table, or the living room floor, where ever’s clever for you two) at least once a week. Once a week. No exceptions.

Avoid falling into these seven deadly relationship habits, ladies!