Patti's Blog

3 Ways to know if you can really trust him

A trusting couple Hello, hello! One of my besties just started dating a fellow she met on OKCupid. (See all of you online dating hold outs, dating on the internet is the way to go! It really, really works!) And he seems great. Solid job, great group of friends, nice home, close with his family. Really, he’s on-paper perfection! And has some pretty nice biceps to boot. This is my friend’s first online boyfriend though and her mom is giving her some doubts. Her mom is wondering if she can she can really trust him. After all, she doesn’t have much history on the guy and there’s no one she can ask for an unbiased opinion. She’s super sure he’s the one for her, but she wanted to know what to tell her mother. So, she came to me for some advice. (Yet another part of being a professional matchmaker that I love—I can help my friends find love!) I thought that I’d summarize what we talked about for you all, just in case it would help any of you newly coupled up ladies out there.


He’s never cheated before

Most guys are idiotically honest when it comes to talking about their past indiscretions. I don’t know why that is. I mean, cheating is absolutely nothing to be proud of. If your guy has never cheating before, good for you! He’s probably a winner. If he has cheated before, that’s a major warning sign. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Think about it. He did something incredibly selfish that really hurt someone who cared about him. No matter what the past circumstances were that he uses to explain away the cheating, your future relationship isn’t going to be that different from his previous relationship. You’re going to care about him and be vulnerable. And he’s going to hurt you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, woman.


His friends don’t cheat

I firmly believe the truism, “You are the company you keep.” This is especially true with young men. Men with all single friends aren’t looking to get into a relationship. Men with coupled up buddies are. Men with all unemployed loser friends aren’t looking for stability. Men with all ambitious, well-employed friends are. It’s just a pack mentality. If your man is friends with a bunch of lowlife men who cheat on their wives and girlfriends and think nothing of it, that mentality is going to run off on him and he’s going to turn into a slimeball like them.


You’re not reading this post

Women have really good instincts…that they ignore all too often. If you’re wondering if your man is trustworthy or not, chances are that he probably isn’t. If you clicked on this post hoping that it would reassure you that your fears are totally off base and your man is 100% reliable, I’m sorry to tell you that you’re on the wrong site, sister. I’m going to give it to you straight. If you’re worried about him, there’s probably a very good reason for it. Don’t deny your instincts.


Alright, my loves. More advice soon. Let me know if there’s anything specific you want advice on in the comments!