If you’re single and looking for a boyfriend or husband, as many of my clients and friends are, I say you’ve got to be going on all cylinders at all times. Dating is basically a full time job and you’re not going to get anywhere if you treat it as anything less. I encourage all the single and looking people in my life to be very no retreat, no surrender with meeting new men and dating. But, there are times in all of our lives when it’s OK to take a break from dating. Here are a few of them.
Sometimes we’re just not emotionally ready for a relationship or even to meet new people. This could be when we’re fresh out of a relationship or just a little raw from life. It happens to the best of us. It’s totally OK to take time out from dating if you need a minute to work on yourself. But, in this time, you should be actively working on the healing. Talk to a therapist, focus on your happiness and get over your hump. Things rarely get better by letting them fester. And the more quickly you address your issues and heal, the more quickly you can dive back into your second full time job of dating and find your fellow.
Another very viable out from dating is when you just can’t prioritize it. Maybe something is going on in your family or you could be very busy at work. Whatever the case, if you find yourself cancelling dates and accidentally ghosting on perfectly good men because you can’t focus on dating, then it’s fine to take a step away from the swiping and meeting of dating. But, a word of caution, make sure this is temporary. It’s easy to always prioritize work over romance. Believe me, I really know that! And you don’t want your personal happiness to always play second fiddle to your professional success. So, let dating be a priority regularly and your times away from dating be the rarity.
Dating takes a lot of energy. A lot! And after a slew of bad first dates, it can be very easy to be discouraged. And when bad dates become the norm, you can show up to every first date with a bad attitude. I’ve found myself thinking, “How’s this guy going to weird me out?” before I even spoke to the dude. That’s not fair at all. And if you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re going to attract negative energy and it’s all down hill from there. Basically, only go on dates when you have a good attitude about dating. And sometimes that means stepping back from dating all together, taking a little break and coming back to the dating pool stronger and more positive than ever.
Even though these are all very valid reasons for pressing pause on the dating button, I want to caution you to keep these breaks as short as possible. The sooner you get back on the horse, the sooner you’ll find a romance that works for you. And that person can help you through your emotional, busy and bad attitude times. Wouldn’t that be nice?