The Men's Room - Love and Relationship Advice From a Man For Women

Why Do Men Tease Women They Like?

Man teases woman at a lunchWhen women sign up to my newsletter, I always send them a welcome email, asking the one thing they’d really me to help them with. Most of the time, the answer comes back the same. “I’d like to learn how to understand men better. I want to know how to read what he’s thinking and feeling.”

So, I thought today I’d look at something I know confuses most women about men. Why do men tease?

Let’s say you’ve met this guy where you work. He’s good looking, and always takes the time to come and speak to you. The weird thing is though, he keeps taking pops at you. He always fools around, and makes fun of you. It feels like he’s attracted to you, so why would he tease you so much?

Why do men “bully” women they’re attracted to?

It happens for a couple of reasons. First, most men are just man-boys who never truly grow up in some ways. It’s one of the many reasons we’re “the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to you” one minute, and a pain in the butt the next.

Men are definitely not as mature emotionally as women (you knew that already though right?) and men tend to tease or joke when they feel “threatened” or vulnerable. Think of it like the boy at school who used to run around teasing the girls and pulling their hair. In reality, he probably had a crush on all of them. He just knew they didn’t like him so he resorted to teasing.

So next time a guy starts making fun of you don’t let it offend you. It’s probably just his attempt at being vulnerable, because he’s too shy to say he likes you.

When a guy teases you like that, it’s usually a sure-fire sign he’s attracted to you. So next time a guy starts making fun of you don’t let it offend you. It’s probably just his attempt at being vulnerable, because he’s too shy to say he likes you.

It’s a typical passive aggressive male behavior, and while it’s not attractive, it’s something most guys do.

Here’s the thing. If you don’t like it when he does it, and you think he might be attracted to you, confront him. Tell him you don’t like him poking fun at you, and tell I told you it’s usually a sign he’s attracted to you. If you put him on the spot like that, you’ll soon find out his true feelings.

It’s annoying I know, and probably seems very immature. I never said, understanding men would be easy, but I do make it as easy as possible for you in my program, “What Men Desire.”

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  • trixietimez

    Thank you, thank you! Just met an adorable guy in a social situation. And every time I see him, he teases me mercilessly. He’s hilarious, and it makes me laugh, but I wonder (other than confronting me,) if there are other ways to turn it into something more productive.

  • jmancometh777

    why is it when a man teases a woman, its passive aggressive, but if a woman teases a man, its seen as alright or in some cases empowering…

  • Michelle

    So basically “boys will be boys” in operation and if they abuse you, it’s really
    because they like you….pull the other one.

    We are talking about adult men here, they are not kids in the playground and shouldn’t be given passes for boorish and obnoxious behaviour. You simply do not do tease and bully those you respect, this demonstrates a poor attitude and a lack of respect towards women and if it happens in the work place, a lack of ability to work with others and develop strong, mutually respectful working relationships.

    It’s easy, if they don’t do it to male peers, they shouldn’t be doing it to you and you should not need to put up with it. If someone genuinely likes and respects you, they can get that across without all of that.

  • SB

    Sorry, but this is nonsense. It’s nothing to do with vulnerability.

    One of the many ways men bond with other men is through teasing. When a man is doing the same with a woman, it means he’s trying to bond with her the same way he’d bond with men.