Relationships

Why going to bed angry is actually a fine thing to do

I’m sure you’ve heard the adage “Never go to bed angry.” It’s age-old advice that I’ve heard repeated a lot. I was actually just at a wedding where the officiant said this to the about-to-be-wed couple and told them it was the only thing about marriage they needed to know. It’s traditional wedding day advice, but I’ve honestly never been one for tradition for tradition’s stake. And I have to say that I really disagree with it. You have to go to bed angry sometimes when you’re dating or married to someone. I actually think it can be good for your relationship to go to bed angry every now and then. Here’s why.

You need sleep

I have a friend couple and they’re totally my couple crush. I think everything about them and their relationship is great. And one time the woman in the couple said to me, “If I didn’t go to bed angry at him, I’d never get any sleep!” That really cracked me up. But, it’s true. You need to sleep! Don’t force yourself to stay up hashing out this argument so you’re exhausted and unproductive the next day…and probably the whole following week. I know with me, one bad night of sleep can wreck my week. Plus, when you’re over tired, you’re not thinking clearly and you’re more emotional. That’s not a great way to tackle a sensitive issue your boo and you are debating. Give yourself you best chance of having a productive conversation by getting a good night’s sleep and revisiting the issue in the morning.

Time helps everything

A ticking clock can sometimes be your best friend. When you’re ragingly mad at your partner, it definitely is. Sometimes those eight hours of sleep are all you need to simmer down to a point where your anger can be productive instead of destructive in the relationship. Sleep is a mandatory time out from thinking and stewing and spinning and that can be a very good thing when the stakes are high and emotions are higher. Let time help you out by taking the night to sleep. Truly, everything looks better in the morning.

Hard to be mad at a sleeper

And some things look better in the middle of the night, too. When a man is asleep, it’s just about the most adorable he can be to me. So, when I’m in a fight with a man I’m dating, going to be angry can be a really good thing because when I wake up in the middle of the night and look at him, it melts my heart. I’m reminded of everything I love about him and it makes it much easier for me to see his side of the argument or trust that his intentions are good, even if we’re disagreeing. I can’t imagine a person on this planet who doesn’t look adorable when they’re asleep. So, I think a little midnight glimpse of your partner could help thaw an icy situation. And you’ve got to go to sleep angry for that to happen.

More power to the angry sleepers out there! I’m with you and I feel like we’re not represented enough in relationship advice. We should start a revolution…after a good night’s sleep, of course.

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