When women date up in age versus when men date up in age

If you’re a woman and date a guy who’s even 24 hours younger than you are, you’re suddenly a cougar. If you’re a man who dates a woman 24 years younger, you’re still just a man. And dating younger is definitely thought of as a good thing for men. I get it, life isn’t fair. And there are reasons why women dating younger men is more rare than men dating younger women and therefore more noteworthy. Here’s my attempt to explain the phenomenon.


Women are more mature than men at an earlier age. All you have to do is sit in on a middle school cafeteria during lunch to know that’s true. And you’ll also know that tater tots are just as delicious as you remember. But that’s beside the point. Women grow up faster, become responsible earlier and are thinking about settling down much younger than men. So it only makes sense that a woman who is looking to partner up with a man will find one who is also looking to partner up. And because of this maturity split, women have to date up in age to find someone who is on her level of maturity and also looking for something serious relationship-wise.

Period of life

This point mixes the above maturity point with something most women (including me) never, ever want to talk about — the biological clock. The nasty truth is that women are on a timeline when it comes to having kids. I know. Sigh, sigh, sigh. We have a very distinct window, that is thankfully a little longer with some very good science, where we can have kids. Combine this window of childbearing opportunity with men who only achieve the maturity and financial stability to become a parent late in life, and you have a recipe for older men seeking out younger women.

Social norms

This is kind of a chicken and egg thing. Because social norms can subconsciously dictate what we find attractive, this can cause women to be more attracted to older men and men to be attracted to younger women because women are attracted to older men and men are attracted to younger women.

What do you think?