What to do when you’re jealous of his female friends

When your boyfriend has female friends, it can be great. I’ve met some very cool girls through men I’ve dated. However, it can also totally suck. You know when get that feeling deep down that something not-so-kosher is going on between your man and his female friend? Not cheating, per se, but maybe flirting or a history you don’t know about? Yeah, that full on sucks. If you find yourself feeling jealous or otherwise icky about his friendships with other women, here’s what to do.

Talk to him about it

This sounds painful and that’s because it will be, but it has to happen. Tell your man about how you’re feeling and what’s making you feel that way and then let the conversation flow. Well, don’t totally let go of the reigns. Make sure he doesn’t dismiss your feelings or call you crazy. But, let him tell you about his relationships with his friends and why they’re important to him. And you should let him know what about those relationships is rubbing you the wrong way.

Set a plan

Then, it’s time to move along to making a plan. You need to figure out action steps the two of you can take that will make both of you feel good. So, completely prohibiting him from seeing his best friend or not letting him see her alone ever again isn’t an option, because that won’t make him feel good. But, maybe you can make an effort to get to know her. Or limit the time alone they spend late at night. Or be sure he clues you in on all of their inside jokes. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, find a solution you both can agree to.

Trust your gut

I’m a big believer in female intuition. You know when something’s a silly flirtation and when something’s seriously off. So, don’t let him sweet-talk you out of anything. If you feel like your man is on the path to something detrimental to you or your relationship, I say trust that feeling. Give him a chance to follow the plan you guys set together, but if he can’t do that or can’t even have a reasonable conversation about your feelings, get out of that relationship. You’ll be saving yourself a whole lot of pain.

Jealousy is a real emotion that’s natural to feel when you’re in a relationship. If you address it early and thoroughly, and if both of you are on the same page, you two will get through this jealousy patch.