I recently heard one of my friends tell her daughter that if she’s unsure about her boyfriend being the one, it means that he’s definitely not the one. Her logic was when you know, you know! And if you’re unsure, you don’t know…therefore he’s not it. I have to say that I disagree with this logic in a major way. I believe in psychics and people who can see into the future, but I’m sure not one of them. And I bet you aren’t either. So, you being unsure about your relationship doesn’t really predict anything about your future relationship status. But, I do think being unsure can tell you a lot about your current relationship. If you’re unsure about dating your boo, here’s what I think you should know about your relationship.
What are you unsure about with your boo? Or why are you unsure? My guess is that this uncertainty could be cleared up with some good old communication. And I know that I’m making it sound really simple. But, believe me, I know that communication isn’t easy at all. Developing solid pathways of communication with a new partner is really tough stuff. And carving out new patterns of communication with an old partner when you’re not used to communicating is even tougher. But, being unsure about your relationship tells me that you definitely need some better communication now. So, get to talking. Ask your boo what you’re wondering about. Does he want kids? Would she convert? These won’t be easy conversations, but they’ll make you more sure about next relationship steps…one way or another.
Being unsure tells me another thing about your relationship. I’m getting the sense that you’re ignoring your gut. Or, you’re trying to, but your gut isn’t being quiet enough to fully ignore. Dig deep and figure out what your gut is screaming about. It isn’t necessarily a relationship deal breaker that your gut isn’t sold on your relationship as is. But, it is a sign that something needs to change. Maybe you need to have a conversation about how he doesn’t speak your love language and you need a little more from him to feel loved. Or you have questions about his finances you need answered before you feel comfortable enough to seriously commit to a future together. Stop ignoring your gut and you’ll find yourself a lot surer about the future of your relationship.
Look, if you’ve been in a relationship before, you know there are no certainties in love. It would be foolish to feel 100% sure after you’ve been burned in surprising ways by romantic partners in the past. This isn’t your first rodeo and acting like it is would be foolish. So, really, when I hear that someone isn’t completely sure about their relationship, it leads me to believe that they’re able to learn lessons from their past experiences, which is actually a very good thing! Instead of interpreting this uncertainty as a bad sign, think of it as more of a reason to appreciate your relationship as it is now. Because you never really know what’s coming.
So, if you have a mom, friend or anyone else in your life making you feel bad about being unsure of your boo, I really hope this makes you feel better. Being unsure of your future isn’t a bad thing. It’s just an opportunity to learn more about your current status. And that could wind up being a good thing for you…and your future!