Cinqe Matchmaking

Tinder Etiquette: To Follow Them on Instagram or Not to Follow Them?

tinderTinder used to be pretty simple. You think they’re cute, you swipe right. Not so cute? Left swipe. Besides having to field a few awkward messages here and there, there wasn’t much more to it than that. But now, with the recent addition of Instagram accounts merging with Tinder profiles, it begs the question: do you follow them on Instagram or not?

It’s a tricky situation. Tinder doesn’t give you a whole lot to work with in terms of getting a feel for someone. There’s a maximum of five photos allowed, a very brief bio section (and let’s be honest, most guys don’t even fill this out), and whatever interests he’s “liked” on Facebook, which he probably hasn’t updated in 3+ years. Instagram, on the other hand, can give you a pretty decent glimpse into someone’s life and some deeper insight into whether you share any interests.

Following someone on social media is a big commitment, and typically saved for when you actually know the person in some capacity. Unfortunately, guys on Tinder seem to be following us left and right. If a dude you’re talking to on Tinder follows you on Instagram, are you obligated to follow him back? Would you start censoring the types of things you post to make yourself seem more attractive? What if you follow him and then decide you don’t like him? At what point do you un-follow him?

Our advice here is to tread lightly. There’s nothing wrong with taking a peek at his Instagram posts to see what he’s like, but save the following for after you’ve actually met in person. There’s no need to go through the whole process of following someone just to potentially un-follow them later, until you’re sure you want to spend some time together. And if things don’t work out, do you really need pictures of his life popping up in your feed day after day? Plus, isn’t it more exciting when you get that notification that Joe Tinder has started following you on Instagram after you’ve just had a great date with him, letting you know he’s still thinking about you? We think so.

To help you further navigate the Tinder/Instagram dilemma, we’ve come up with a few basic rules:

1. Don’t go too deep
There’s nothing worse than scrolling so far down you accidentally double-tap a picture from 38 weeks ago. Or going on a date and asking him about his trip to Thailand…when he hasn’t actually told you that he went to Thailand. By all means, take a peek and get a sense of what this guy’s into, but save yourself from potential embarrassment and don’t go too far.

2. Keep the stalking to a minimum
Similarly, if you just started talking to this guy or have only been on a couple dates, you’ll be doing yourself a disservice if you get too caught up in his digital life. It’s easy to start obsessing over whether that girl from 13 weeks ago is just a friend or an ex-girlfriend who’s still in his life and drive yourself crazy with it, but you don’t even know if you like this guy yet.

3. Allow yourself to be surprised
You know what’s worse than knowing nothing about a guy on a first date? Knowing everything about him on a first date. Don’t spend so much time browsing through his posts that you know every detail of his life, including his dog’s name, what his siblings look like and where he went on

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