Girls, today we are going to address an epidemic that is sweeping the nation and making a lot of women look really bad. Hopefully this article will help certain individuals recognize their embarrassing and non-feminine behavior and stop ASAP.
The female douchebag, or ‘Homo Femalis Bitchius’ is a term coined by generation Y and has been around for quite some time now but really entered our collective memory via Instagram, the social media format based solely on uploading pictures to share your life rather than thoughts or ideas (like Facebook), and it has really created a monster… a douchebag monster.
It all became so clear when the selfie got here! Many women discovered ‘selfies’ and quickly began abusively posting them, a lot, and all by seemingly the same type of girl. Girls, there’s no harm in taking a fun and cute ‘seflie’ every now and then but the female douchebag, or the FDB, takes this concept to a ‘hoe’ other level.
The FDB is different, and not in a good way, because her Instagram account exists solely to announce to the world that she is hot and only getting hotter in every picture with every workout mirror shot. She is at the gym, the bathroom, getting ready in her room, etc., pretty much any situation the FDB will take and stage to try and show off how hot she is. The FBD will post thirst trap pictures, a picture that is supposedly nonchalant saying ‘studying hard’ but the shot is there for the sake of showing her cleavage and has nothing to do with studying. #dumb.
The FDB’s over use of selfies is looking totally and embarrassingly desperate and desperation is a stinky cologne girlfriend! Such attention-seeking behavior is not just tacky it is deprecating to society because now men too are thinking it’s OK to be exhibitionists on Instagram, taking selfies right and left. Awkward!
Then the women are posting these selfies as the new normal and young girls going on Instagram are learning that this behavior is not only normal, it is commendable, how scary!
The selfie of Instagram has not only helped us better identify the douchebags of society it does give us a good laugh every day. But on a serious note, what’s feeding this epidemic? In theory, men instigated the FDB concept because they allowed it due to the fact that some guys literally do not care if a woman is a douchebag, as long as she has a vagina they will chase her, so they ‘like’ her ridiculous attention-seeking selfies in hopes to getting laid and vou la! The concept is put in motion all because the FDB received some attention. She now thinks her ridiculous seflies are great, likeable and thus the vicious cycle continues. Then the women are posting these selfies as the new normal and young girls going on Instagram are learning that this behavior is not only normal, it is commendable, how scary!
Just to make sure I wasn’t the only one noticing this epidemic, I asked random people in my life what they thought of the FDB epidemic:
“I’ve been victim to watching the FDB take her oblivious selfies, and it’s traumatizing.”
– Emily, 21.
“The female douchebag is a product of her environment, past, and conditioning. This generation of man is less manly, less productive, less tough, and exhibit less control and emotional maturity. These ‘soft’ guys are everywhere and it’s affecting how a lot of women act. Women are left with a vast population of men who they cannot honestly say is a true definition of a man. Instead, these men are fragile and egotistic, they are out in their skinny jeans taking selfies and getting super butt hurt if they don’t get a certain amount of likes, that ‘white iPhone’ mother f****. These are the guys to blame, they are the ones who created and are propelling this epidemic.”
– Ebere, 26
“Guys totally feed the selfie fire. For every one attention whore you have five guys willing to give her what she wants. I see it on social media, at the bars, etc. it’s sickening.”
–Brian, 29
“It’s ‘obviously unhealthy behavior. Maybe if we didn’t propagate that mindset, even for humor’s sake, it wouldn’t be such a rampant issue. #lookatmybodyihatemydad
– Alex, 25
Ultimately, although ladies certainly have equal opportunities to be obnoxious douchebags like men have been for years, it doesn’t mean they should. I personally believe ladies should always be ladies, and posting workout pictures on the reg is just not feminine and much too aggressive. A real woman who is truly comfortable with her ‘sexuality’ doesn’t need to seek attention from strangers; trust me, she knows she’s hot! So we can blame guys all we want for allowing girls to think that their egotistical selfies are hot, but no matter who you blame for starting and propelling this behavior doesn’t make it any less ridiculous or hilarious an epidemic. So, if you’re guilty of being a FDB or a MDB realize your behaviors are off-putting, unhealthy and unnatural. The best advice I can offer you would be to put down your Instragram now and go work on getting a personality because that is something worth investing in, it will bring you all best the attention you will ever need in life.
