First of all, what is a sex cleanse? To be as basic as possible, it’s when you cleanse your relationship of all the sex you’re having. You press pause on having sex of all kinds so you can focus on improving your relationship. A typical cleanse is about cleaning up your diet so you can feel better and expel specific toxins from your body. Same thing with a sex cleanse. Use it to clean up your relationship and get rid of whatever’s toxic between you two. Not sure if your relationship needs a sex cleanse? Here are three questions to help you figure it out.
Are you in a rut?
Does your sex life feel blah? If you’re bored with everything that goes on in your bedroom these days and have tried everything else to spice it up, then maybe you should just stop having sex for a while. If you take a break, you’ll wind up missing certain elements of your sex life. You’ll also likely feel some relief to not be doing other parts of your sex life. Really think about what those things are. You could even write them down. Then, spend time with your partner talking about how you can get more of what you’re currently missing and eliminate what bums you out about sex. The lack of sex can help you really focus on what is and isn’t working when you do have sex.
Do you need to connect more?
Sex is very intimate. But, strangely enough, sex can actually cover up a lack of non-physical intimacy between the two of you. If you’re having a lot of sex, but still feel like you’re not quite connecting with your partner, removing sex from your life temporarily can help you strengthen your emotional connection. Spend the time you’d normally be having sex talking to each other. Or going on special dates. Or even answering cheesy questions from one of those get to know you books. Do something that involves communication and sharing emotions or secrets instead of just having sex and falling asleep. You’ll feel more connected by not having sex for a while and when you do get back to having sex, you’ll be much more present emotionally.
Do you appreciate it?
Has sex turned into a chore or a given for you? Maybe it’s still exciting and fun, but there’s no anticipation and you don’t appreciate how special it is that you two have such a wonderful sex life. A short sex cleanse will help you remember what’s so great about the sex you guys have together. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I think it also applies to other body parts.
A sex cleanse may sound extreme, but it doesn’t have to be for long to get the benefits. And of course, this is something you should discuss with your partner. Abstaining from sex until your boo realizes isn’t what this is about. A sex cleanse should be a decision you both make with the goal of improving your relationship. Hopefully it works for you!