People tend to treat dating as an either/or situation. Either you’re dating online or you’re dating out in the real world, but you can’t have both. If you’re dating online, that’s your jam, and that’s what all of your time and effort goes into. After a while, online dating starts to feel like a full-time job. There are so many different sites and about 40 million daters to sift through. It’s overwhelming, to say the least.
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Side-ist: [sahyd-ist] Noun. A person possessing, or thought to be possessing, a superior location in one of the five boroughs of New York City. Can pertain to borough, neighborhood, subway line, uptown/downtown and east/west:
“She moved to Greenpoint and suddenly refused to meet us in Hell’s Kitchen for Happy Hour after work. I hate that she’s become such a side-ist.”
When I first moved to the City, I was über mobile. I would meet anyone, anywhere, at any time. I was unemployed, living in Gramercy Park, and found I was making friends in every neighborhood in Manhattan, as well as in Astoria and all over Brooklyn. It was an adventure to explore my new city and saying “no” wasn’t an option.
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Ah! The holidays are a cheerful time of celebrating and embracing the ones you love. CUE THE RECORD SCRATCH! Let’s get real. The holidays are a time of stress and pressure, especially for a new couple. The “will he, won’t he” back and forth of getting invited to his family’s home for the holidays can be overwhelming. It can suck all the joy out of the holidays and put a major damper on your relationship. So, here are some tips on how to approach a possible “non-vitation” back home with your boo during the holidays.
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Reader All the Wrong Women writes about a habit close to Patti’s heart….
How do I get out of the habit of dating the same types of women, despite my conscious attempts to choose women who are different? Specifically, I have a tendency to date women who are disorganized-they habitually run late, and can't manage their money; two traits that bother me, because they smack of irresponsibility and/or a lack of self-control. Also, most women whom I date are politically and religiously conservative. I am neither of those.
I realize that at some (unconscious) level, I am choosing them. But, how do I stop doing that? Thanks!
One evening my boyfriend came over, and stopped at Chipotle on his way to bring me some dinner. He texted me to see what I wanted. My brief responses of “chicken taco” and “you know what I want” apparently didn’t help him too much, because he didn’t get my order right. I wondered, “How could he not know that I prefer corn over flour tortillas, and that I love sour cream with my Mexican food?!? We’ve been dating for almost 8 months!” When I asked him, he then threw down the gauntlet – “What do I like at Chipotle?” Without missing a beat I recited his usual order and he replied by putting his hands up in the air and saying, “Ok ok, you proved your point.”
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It’s usually around this time of year, when it really starts to set in that fall, has indeed arrived.
Gone are the usual flirts with warm weather. My light sweaters are graced with scarves and jackets and all of my favorite musicians seem to be releasing their albums just in time for the holidays.
But before I start downloading new holiday music on ITunes or even humming some old favorites, I begin on my usual binge of sorting through all the new music and finding the gems that speak directly to my romantic bone.
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