The Men's Room - Love and Relationship Advice From a Man For Women

Before Love, We Must Have Crush

The term, looking for the one.

Falling in love.

Meeting the right person for you to have that great love relationship is a great end result, but there are two magical steps before you fall in love with somebody.

And the first one is: you have to have a crush on them.

It really is that simple. You need to meet somebody, or you feel like you’re back in high school again, and you have a ridiculous crush on them.

You anticipate every word that comes out of their mouth.

You anticipate each text that comes in. Whenever you hear the phone text go and you see the bar across the top, you see their name, and you think to yourself, yes! I wonder what my new crush is thinking right now. I wonder what my new crush is trying to share with me right now.

To have a crush makes you feel alive because it usually takes a while to find a crush again. It is definitely something that is a huge process in everybody’s life. But eventually, you’re going to stumble across somebody you have a crush on.

What happens during a crush? What do you literally feel like?

You literally feel like you’re going to want to meet them at their locker and share a kiss. Remember that, back in high school? Where you shared a kiss with somebody at their locker? That feeling, the feeling of sitting in class wanting to see them…

Sitting in class and passing notes back and forth to each other. Flirting was so simple and so much fun back then because once you had a crush on somebody and knew that they had a crush on you, you didn’t think about anything at all. As a matter of fact, you didn’t worry about anything because you were told through the grapevine that this person had a crush on you.

It got you to relax.

Nowadays, we are looking for validation, so much validation, because we’ve over-read everything.

If someone is attracted to us, they’re going to do these three things.

If someone likes us, they’re going to say this.

What does it mean if they didn’t text back?

You see, in high school, you got validation by your social network. Your social network were the people that you were standing next to, hanging out with at school, and you always got validation from them because you always heard through one of their friends or someone that he or she likes you. You have that validation.

Nowadays, unless somebody was crushing on somebody on Facebook (which, by the way, Mr. Zuckerberg: Maybe you should have a crush icon now for people who want to crush on one another on Facebook)… unless the person actually tells you that they have a crush on you, you’re going in all blind.

And that’s another thing about a crush. Tell somebody have got one and see if they have one back, because it leads to:

1. Better flirting.

2. It becomes more honest.

3. It’s going to lead quickly into the number two stage of what it takes to find love.

And what is that?

The “I like you” stage. I like you. I like what you’re all about. I like what you have to say. It’s the validation stage happens between two people. You see, we live in a world right now where people need to be validated by so many other people. But in reality, all you need to do is validate yourself by living an authentic life, by saying the things you mean, by meaning the things you say, and being a person of your word.

And the only validation you need when you’re crushing on somebody or liking somebody is to tell them how you feel. I like you. I think you’re great. I love the way your mind thinks. I think you’re sexy.

These are two magical steps that you need in order to take down that path of love. You need to have a crush. You need to like somebody. You need to be fun. You need to enjoy life again.