How to tell if you’re truly over your ex

over exIt’s been a few weeks or maybe even a few months and you think you’re finally over your ex. But, how can you be sure? You can’t go to the guy’s house, ring his doorbell and when he answers, kiss him to see if you have any feelings. Or, you could, but you’d probably get served with a restraining order soon after. So, I came up with a little checklist that will help you figure out if you’re truly over your ex. And I guarantee you won’t get served with a restraining order if you figure it out this way!

No thinking

If you’re over your ex, you won’t think about him. At all. Even when you’re in the shower and have nothing else to think about, so your mind wanders back to him. Or back to a great date you had with him. Or back to a horrible fight you had with him. If your mind is magnetized to the dude, your heart isn’t quite over him.

No stalking

You have no idea what your ex-fellow is doing because you haven’t been on his social page in months. In fact, when he comes up on your feed, you don’t even give his post a special glance. And when a new picture of him with his new girlfriend pops up on Instagram or Facebook, you don’t even go and check out her profile. Eh, on second thought, that last thing might be a little extreme. If my first grade boyfriend posted a picture of someone he was dating, I’d definitely check her out. So, you don’t stalk him 99% of the time. But, 1% stalking is totally OK.

No comparing

You go on dates with new men and don’t compare them to your ex. Of course, you apply the lessons you learned about yourself, love and relationships from your ex to every relationship moving forward. But, you don’t directly compare your first date or milestones in new relationships to your old relationship. If you do, you might need a little bit of a breather before that new one.

No wondering

You’ve stopped spending time wondering about what could have been with your relationship had it lasted. There isn’t a reality where that relationship lasted. The “what ifs” are over and you don’t wonder anything about him any more. In fact, you don’t even wonder if you’re over him. You just know it. So, if you clicked into this post, you might not be 100% over your ex yet. But, you’ll get there. Trust me.

To all of you who are over your past, great work. It takes more than time to heal from serious relationships. It takes a lot of work and introspection and you did it! To all of you who have a ways to go, know that it’s possible and you’re heading in the right direction.