Patti's Blog

How To Deal With a Feud

213017210_e3c75b5962Have you heard that Katy Perry is releasing a new song called 1984? Subtle, Katy. Real subtle. For those of you not in the know, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift are in a feud. On Taylor’s latest album, which is called 1989, she wrote a song that’s allegedly about Katy Perry entitled Bad Blood. One of the rumors is that Katy Perry was never that nice to Taylor and the straw that broke the camel’s back was when Katy Perry stole some of Taylor’s back up dancers to bring on Katy’s tour. I’m sure Katy has her side of the story as well. There’s also the confounding factor that both of them dated-slash-are-currently-dating John Mayer. The plot thickens because Katy just listed a new song with her publisher called 1984. That seems like a direct connection to Taylor’s album, right? Anyway, if two super busy, incredibly talented women can find the time to feud publicly, then I’m assuming most people have some sort of
similar conflict in their lives. Well, here’s some advice about how to do it right.

Keep it private

Don’t write any songs on your platinum album about the feud, of course. But, also, don’t talk about it with friends and family. Don’t spread rumors about this person you’re feuding with. And, most of all, don’t stoop to their level. No one has ever said, “I was really impressed with her. She was in a fight with this other person and was definitely the meaner and more vindictive person. Very cool!” You’re not actually winning anything if you “win” the fight. Just keep your calm and keep it to yourself.

Look for a solution

Instead of focusing on how wronged you’ve been by this other person, think about what could make yourself feel better about the situation. It doesn’t have to be making up with this individual. It could be cutting off contact, going on a long trip to take your mind off it or even going to therapy. Focus on getting over this instead of stewing in the awfulness of this person’s being and actions.

Stop thinking about it

Let it go. Elsa knew what she was talking about. After you’ve given yourself plenty of time to deal with this situation emotionally, make yourself stop thinking about it. Anytime your brain goes to that place, force yourself to think about something else. And make that something else a really pleasant memory. A feud can very easily take over your mind and then you haven’t just lost a friendship, you’ve lost yourself, too! Don’t let that happen.

Good luck, feuders. And even though I don’t love this behavior, I have to admit that I’m really excited for 1984 to release. I’ll definitely be buying it!

Photo credit: pedrosimoes7 / CC BY