In Your Dreams

How Your Dreams Help You Navigate Your Relationships

Woman sleeping and dreams to guide her relationshipThe other morning I was a guest on a radio show in Philadelphia. Listeners were calling in and asking me about their strange dreams.  A lady named Nancy called in and her dream caused me great concern. She said for the last 10 years she had been having a recurring dream, at least once a week, that she was being shot at by German Fighter Jets. She thought the dream may have to do with her father since he was a pilot for the Navy during World War II.

I asked her, “Is your father still with us and if so is he really hard on you?”

“No,” she replied. “He’s always been a great Dad.”

“Well this dream indicates that there is someone in your life that is causing you to feel constantly under attack, for at least 10 years now.”

“Oh!” she said, as the light bulb appeared over her head. “It’s my husband. He’s very critical of me… and come to think of it, he’s German.”


Nancy has been living the past 10 years in denial, telling herself during the day that her husband probably wasn’t so bad. Yet at night, her deeper, wiser dreaming self is showing her that it is pretty bad. Living with him is like living in a war zone! And these dreams will not let up until she faces reality and takes action.

You see, our dreams will be brutally honest with us when our waking mind refuses to be. While awake, we busy ourselves with our jobs, our friends, our families and our goals but when it comes to our struggles we’ll tell ourselves, “It’s not so bad,” or we’ll push them off or simply ignore them and hope they will go away. It’s just easier to get through the day that way.

But when we go to bed, we turn out our lights, we close our eyes and shut out the world around us. Then there are no more distractions. The mind doesn’t stop working at this point. Your stream of consciousness begins to go inward, and as your waking, literal mind slips into a state of rest, your deep inner subconscious mind takes over and works on your issues for you through your dreams… even the issues you try to ignore. This is why, when faced with a dilemma, we tend to say, “Let me sleep on it.” What we’re really doing is dreaming on it!

Through our dreams we speak to ourselves about what is going on in every area of our life, especially the relationship area. Our dreams are like a built in GPS, navigating us through our relationship difficulties, helping us to avoid relationship dead ends and pointing us toward relationship destinies.

My dreams helped me know that my hubby was “the one” many years ago, despite the fact my parents were none to happy about it. Shortly after we began dating, I kept having dreams that we were at various restaurants, feasting on pizza, chocolates, biscuits, pies… you name it! These dreams weren’t telling me I needed to watch my waistline, they were telling me that this relationship was very fulfilling to me; it was “feeding” all my needs!

Like Nancy’s dreams of being shot at by fighter jets, your dreams will show you when your relationship has reached a dangerous place. And like my feast dreams, your dreams will let you know when your relationship is healthy and is sustaining you. They’ll even let you know when you need to get out!

I will continue to write articles for PattiKnows weekly that will teach you how to understand your dreams and use them as a guiding light in your relationship journeys, so be sure to stay tuned. In the meantime, here’s a tip that will help you to start remembering your dreams (if they’re full of great advice and warnings, you need to remember them, right?).

A Powerful Tip to Remember Your Dreams

Whenever you wake up, stay put! We all average about 5 dreams per night, but the memory of those dreams fade within 90 seconds of waking so it is crucial that when you wake up you stay in bed for a few minutes before even moving your body! You need to stay in the exact position you woke up in because that is the position your body was in when you were dreaming. Moving your body is like unplugging yourself from the dream you were JUST in! So stay still and quiet for just a few minutes every single morning and let those dreams come back to you. You’ll be surprised how well this works. But then, you need to write your dream down, otherwise it will be gone after breakfast! Make it a habit every morning and you’ll start remembering your dreams like crazy.

Speaking of crazy, have you had any crazy relationship dreams? Post them in the comments below.

Next week I’m going to talk about the most common relationship symbols to look out for in your dreams and what they mean. Until next time, sweet dreams!