#AskPatti: Sucky sex after monogamy, lending money to your man, when to call him & more!

ask-patti-squareAnother week of great AskPatti questions this week, tweeps! You guys really do make my job completely fantastic! As we get deeper into November, I’d love to start addressing some holiday issues. So, hit me up with your holiday sex, love and relationship questions and I’ll put out a few holiday themed columns. Can’t wait! Now, onto this week!



First of all, it’s not just women who shouldn’t be having sex before monogamy, it’s both men and women. Second of all, I don’t advise waiting until marriage to get busy. I say wait until monogamy. Monogamy is very different than marriage. And, yeah, it’s possible that the first time you have sex after monogamy could be terrible. Actually, it’s likely. First time sex normally sucks. But, when you’re committed to someone, you have more of a chance of improving the sex by communication, practice and patience. Don’t worry about having amazing first time sex. Worry about finding a partner you want to get serious with. Good sex will come with time. I promise.




Honey, remind your friend that she’s his romantic partner, not his bank teller. Of course she resents him! But, who she really should resent is herself. She’s the one who’s letting this terrible situation happen. Tell her to get out of that relationship and find an employed guy who can take her to a nice meal. Sounds like she really deserves it.




Of course she can! Age is just a number and hearts aren’t very good at math. What you need to think about with a large age gap is how your life stages sync up. Are you both down to party all the time? Are you both thinking about kids soon? Are you both in similar spots in your careers? As long as you two have the same current life goals, who cares how old you are? Answer: not me!




I tell my lady clients to keep their contact with men to a three to one ratio. That means that for every three times he calls you, you should call him once. It’s the perfect balance to let him know that you’re interested without being too available. It lets him chase you while giving him some positive feedback that you’re interested in being chased.

That’s it for this week, my loves. Chat soon! Mwah!