#AskPatti: How to stop being picky, career question, opposites attraction & more!

Ask Patti StangerHello, my tweeties! I hope you’re having the happiest of holiday seasons. By the time you read this, I’ll probably be on my third hot chocolate of the day with my favorite people. Hot chocolate has been our holiday thing this week and it’s adorable of us, if I do say so myself! Anyway, let me get on with writing this so I can get back to slurping. Your fantastic questions from the week…

Of course, being picky when it comes to love is expected (and smart!) and deal breakers are deal breakers. But, it sounds like there could be more going on with you, honey. Honestly, the solution here might be to love yourself more. I’ve noticed that the clients I work with who are constantly finding faults in perfectly good people and won’t give anyone a chance are just really insecure and dealing with it by nitpicking others. Could this be what’s going on with you?
I’m going to cheat and say both. Impressive and intimidating often go hand in hand and I think that applies here. And I don’t think intimidating is necessarily a bad thing. For example, if I met Beyonce, I’d be intimidated. But, does that mean that I think her success, music and all around goddessness are bad things? No effing way! So, don’t sweat what men think about your career. Be as successful as you can be, girl. And you’ll find a man who’s impressed and intimidated by you in the best of ways!
Oh, sweetheart. This sounds like a bummer of a time with your boo. Being with someone when he or she is depressed is super, super rough on the relationship. I say give him a month of moping. If it really just is the holiday blues, then it will pass. After he’s feeling better, you can talk to him about how he deals with sadness and how you hope that next time he doesn’t shut you out and instead lets you in. If his blues go on for longer than a month, it might be time for you to suggest he get some professional help.
Unless you’re talking about magnets, nothing is less true than the phrase “opposites attract.” Look for someone with similarities to you. Similar feelings about spirituality, similar takes on financial responsibility, similar five year plans. A polar opposite might be a fun adventure for a little while, but if you’re looking for long term compatibility go with someone who’s similar to you.

Back to the hot chocolate! Much love, my tweeties! Talk soon.