4 questions to ask yourself before bringing your man home for holidays

home for holidaysThanksgiving is tomorrow and then Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanza are right around the corner. And while the holidays are a wonderful, cozy time of year, when you’re in a newish relationship, November and December can be a particularly fraught period. Holidays just pile the pressure onto a new relationship. There’s the question of gifts, dates to holiday parties and, of course, going home together. If you’re debating if you should bring your man home, I’m hoping these four questions will help.

Is it serious?

Notice that I didn’t ask how long you two have been together. The amount of time you’ve spent together doesn’t matter. What really counts is in your heart. And deep down, you have to ask yourself if this is a relationship that seriously matters to you. You don’t need to be engaged or even need to know that he’s the one. But, to bring a fellow home to meet your whole crew, you should know that he’s one very special guy who’s going to hold a meaningful place in your life.

Is he down?

Um, have you checked with your man about this? If your guy isn’t thrilled with the idea of meeting your parents or is dragging his feet at all, I say it’s a no go on bringing him home. You want to bring home a dude who’s super pumped about seeing where you’re from and getting to know you better. If he’s focused on the potential awkwardness and stress of it, instead of the positive elements, then def don’t bring this dud home. Not worth sharing your mom’s special pie with.

Are you excited?

Imagine yourself in your parents’ house with this man. How do you feel thinking about it? Are you excited? If so, great sign. Bring him home! If you’re more scared or anxious thinking about your fellow mixing with your family, that might not be bueno. Think about why you’re feeling so crummy about the situation before you follow through with the invitation home.

Would you do it?

Would you skip a holiday with your family to be with his family if he asked? Going to someone else’s home for a major holiday is a big sacrifice and indication of your feelings toward someone. If there’s no way you’d ever miss watching your nephew open presents on Christmas morning or not have your grandmother’s Thanksgiving stuffing, even if your fellow asked you to come home with him, then it’s not fair to expect him to make this massive effort for you. Put yourself in his shoes.

I hope those four questions help you figure out your plus-one holiday status. If you’re not ready to take the plunge this year, know that Earth Day isn’t that far away. Maybe you can take your man home then? I’m only kinda kidding. Definitely don’t rush into anything and know that if this is the right relationship for you, you’ll have many more opportunities to share holidays together.