You’ve definitely heard the old expression, “Don’t shit where you eat.” When people say it, they’re normally referring to the advice of not dating someone you work with. And sure, there’s sound logic there. Dating someone who’s not connected to you professionally is certainly less messy. But, it’s also hard advice to follow. You’re at work a lot and it’s an easy place to meet people. And, believe me, I know it can be difficult to find time outside of work to meet the right men. (Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. I’m all about prioritizing romance, but that doesn’t mean I think it’s easy!) So, romance at just work and here’s why I think it can actually be a good thing.
He gets it
Work is a big part of life. If you’re anything like me, it’s the biggest part of your life, at least when you think about it in terms of time and brain power. For many people, their career is a huge part of their identity, too. And how great would it be to not have to start from a standstill with a new guy when it comes to explaining that major part of your life? You won’t have to explain your goals because he gets them. You won’t have to describe the main characters in your work stories because he knows them. You won’t have to set a lot up in order for him to be supportive of your career struggles and proud of your wins. He can just jump into those emotions. Sounds good, right? I think so!
So the big lesson of the “don’t shit where you eat” adage is that you don’t want bad relationship stuff to seep into your professional life. And yeah, that makes sense. But, I also think that because you don’t want bad relationship stuff to muck up your job, you’ll be a lot better about making sure your relationship stuff doesn’t turn bad. You won’t let fights get out of hand. You’ll communicate clearly and quickly. You know how some people say you shouldn’t go to bed angry? Well, when you work with your boo, you shouldn’t go to work angry. You’ll be forced to resolve your problems and not let things fester. Not bad, right?
You really know him
When you hook up with someone you know professionally, you really know him. This isn’t some rando you met online and need to build a relationship with. You know him professionally and need to build up a romantic connection. But, that professional knowledge is actually really intimate. Maybe you’ve seen him kill it at a board meeting, mentor a younger employee or follow through on an innovative idea. You’ve seen him at his best! Conversely, you could have seen him be berated by his boss, cut someone off in a meeting or totally fail at hitting a goal. You’ve seen him struggle and know what he’s like when he’s down. If you know that side of him and still dig him, that’s saying a lot. Most people need to get in deep with their boo to see them during rough spots, but you know before you even get involved. So, you won’t get crummy surprises of a guy who has major anger issues or can’t deal with failure. And that’s a good thing!
So, there you go. I’m not saying you have to date someone you work with, but if it winds up happening, don’t beat yourself up, girl. There are definitely benefits to it!