The initial stages of falling in love are all kinds of amazing. The dates, the romance, the flirting, the attraction, the sex. It’s undeniable that those things are AMAZING! But, they’re also distracting. They can be so overwhelmingly wonderful that you’re blinded to red flags and bad behavior. You might not be focusing on bigger things that are more important to long term compatibility than dreamy eyes and steamy kisses. Not your fault. Even the best of us are blinded by lust. Here are five quick ways to be sure the guy you’re dating is a good one. Use it for quick reference when have your lust shades on.
How he treats his mom
This is an oldie, but a good. Pay attention to how your dude treats his mom because that’s how he’s going to treat you if you two date long term. He doesn’t have to be best friends with his mother or anything. I actually find a true mama’s boy a little creepy. What you want to look out for is how respectful he is and how dutiful he is. He might not do everything she says, but does he dissent with her respectfully? Does he help her when she needs it? And what’s his general attitude like? Think about those things and then think if you’d like to be treated that way.
What his friends are like
Are your man’s friends good people? You’re not blinded by your attraction and chemistry with them, so you should be able to tell. If his dudes are sweet and supportive people, you’re golden. If they’re degenerates who are mean to each other or generally only share common interests in doing icky things like gambling, heavy drinking or strip clubs, you’ve got a problem.
Who stays in his life
Long time friends, business connections or even strong family connections are really great indicators of a good person. If he keeps relationships going for years and years, he probably has a lot of wonderful qualities that these people want to keep in their life. If he’s constantly changing friend groups, doesn’t last at a job for very long or has written off every single member of his family, then it seems like he could have toxic elements to him that you’re not seeing.
How he fights
If you’re in the lovely dovey part of your relationship, you likely haven’t had a fight yet. But, one is sure to come up. The best couples in the world have fights. Fighting isn’t the issue. How he fights is. If he’s nasty during a fight and gets scary, aggressive or name calls, then you’ve got take a beat and think about the quality of this man. A good guy can disagree with you without disrespecting you. That’s what you should be looking for.
How you feel
What is at the core of your attraction to him. Exactly what do you like about his personality? Is it nice and sweet he is, which are obviously wonderful indicators, or is it how dangerous he is? Or how exciting and unpredictable he is? If what you like about him is his badness or unpredictability, you’re paddling yourself into bad guy waters. So, be aware!
Hope that you’re dating a good guy or on your way to. There’s nothing quite as wonderful as being with a man that has a solid core and inspires you to be a better version of yourself. And you deserve that!