Here is the key to happiness on all levels.
You’re 50% responsible for everything that happens in your life.
Do not blame anybody for any situation you’re in. You’re 50% responsible.
I would love to be able to blame some people for some of the stuff that I’m in, but I’m 50% responsible for that. There are some people in my life that drive me nuts, but I’m 50% responsible for the dynamic that I share with them.
There’s some people in my life that I wish I can figure out some things out with.
But I’m 50% responsible for that dynamic. I’m 50% responsible for speaking up, I’m 50% responsible for the way things are created.
Any relationship where we are constantly blaming somebody for cheating on you, or doing these awful things to you…
You’re 50% responsible for everything that happened in that relationship, just like they are.
Everybody is 50% responsible for everything.
Let’s say, for instance, you share a child with somebody.
And you’re still blaming them for breaking up the family.
Guess what? You’re 50% responsible for all the actions in breaking up the family as well.
You can’t go around life blaming people for the things that are going wrong in your life. Because in life, you’re 50% responsible for everything you do.
Every dynamic, every action, everything that happens to you, you are either the passenger or the driver. You’re 50% responsible. So it’s time to take responsibility.
Your child doesn’t want to be with you, your child is unhappy, your teenage daughter is pissed off at you.
Your son thinks you’re an asshole.
Guess what? All the things that led to your son or daughter lashing out, you are 50% responsible.
I’m friends with a lot of single parents, and they’ll blame the other person. It’s the dad’s fault.
Or the dad will say, it’s the mom’s fault.
And I look, and I say, it’s both your faults.
You see, in life, we’re 50% responsible for everything that we do, and the actions that will cause people around us.
Your teenage daughter doesn’t want to be around you? Guess why.
It’s the things that you are responsible for doing to them when they were younger, the things that you thought were so wonderful and great they actually started building up, and started building up this anxiety towards you at a much younger age.
The other day I went and met an amazing child therapist because I wanted to figure some things out.
There was a young girl in there that was 12.
She was angry with her father.
She lost her relationship with her father for a couple of years. He just kind of vanished.
The mother was listening to what the daughter was saying.
The daughter was screaming and saying how much she hated her dad and wished that he was dead and all those other things.
The mother sat there, and she goes, “god, it just breaks my heart.”
I looked at her and thought to myself for a second, well, you’re 50% responsible for this dynamic.
How you coddled her, how you maybe didn’t support the relationship with dad. There’s a reason why men and women have fractured relationships with their children.
It’s not the child. The child is usually the innocent victim in all this.
The child is this beautiful little being that came into this world, and they’re not sitting there, wanting to fracture a relationship with their father or mother.
It’s the mother or father. It’s the words the mom or the dad will use while they’re talking to the other, to the child about how they describe the parent. All this stuff builds up. So a lot of the time, the father or mother has this fractured relationship with the daughter or the son due to the fact that they never got the support in the other house.
They were made out to be the villain.
They were made out to be this, they were made out to be that.
And that is a future that a lot of people don’t fully get and understand.
I saw it unfold right in front of my eyes. And I thought to myself: Man, this woman sitting here is 50% responsible for that man vanishing. She should have never allowed it. She should have looked into what the dynamic that was caused that made him vanish in the first place.
I truly believe that there are no bad kids, but there are truly a lot of bad adults.
It made my think of my daughter. It made me think of a lot of the things that I need to do for her. Because no matter what, and no matter what dynamic I have with her mom, I’m certainly not going to vanish from her life. There might be some uphill battles, but I’m never going to vanish from her life. And I’m always going to make sure that I’m a huge part of her life, no matter how difficult things might be in the present or future.
Because I don’t want my kids screaming or yelling there, and my blaming my ex blame for the things that I was 50% responsible for. In life, you’re 50/50 on everything you do.
Because think about it. Even when you watch a football game and the quarterback does the perfect pass, the receiver is 50% responsible for catching it.