Relationships

How to accept his guilty pleasures

Guilty pleasures — you have them. I have them. We all do. Then why is it so shocking when a man has them? I really don’t know. But I do know that I’m always floored whenever a new guy reveals one of his guilty little pleasures to me. Of course it makes sense, though. Peanut butter on a spoon knows no gender! And neither does rotten TV, dirty talk in the bedroom or porn. Well, actually, I guess porn does know some gender, but still. You get what I’m saying, right? Guys have guilty pleasures too, and if you want your relationship to work, you need to accept his little indulgences as part of him. Here’s how.

Try them

I know, I know. Gross out to the tenth degree. You can’t watch an entire boxed set of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in one afternoon, and there’s no way you’re going to mix soy sauce into your cream cheese. I get it. I’m not saying you have to like his guilty pleasures, but you do have to try them. At least once. And who knows? You could end up being kind of into a few of his quirky pleasures, and they could turn into your shared guilty pleasures.

Talk about it

This one should be no surprise. Communication is key in overcoming any couple hurdle, and his propensity for bringing his scrambled eggs into the bathroom when he has to go number two in the morning is no different. Without being judgmental, just let him know how his habit makes you feel, and tell him about any little changes he can make to make the situation better for you. (Closing the door, for example.) You love him and want him to be happy doing his thing. And he loves you and doesn’t want to alienate you. With a little compromise and communication, you two will definitely work it out.

Leave him alone

If his guilty pleasure is so irksome to you that you absolutely can’t stand it, then don’t. Give him some space to do his weird thing. If he has to wear Spock ears when he watches Star Trek reruns and you find that so unsexy that you can’t look at him, then don’t look at him. Give him a few hours of alone time with his DVD player and plastic ears every week. He’ll get his fill of his guilty little pleasure, and you won’t have to even know he’s doing it.

Spin it

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When your boo gives you a reason to be grossed out about him, give him a compliment. I know, that second one doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue like the lemonade one, but stick with me here. Finding one little thing about his guilty pleasure that you can be sweet about will make a huge difference to him in terms of feeling accepted by you. Just practice saying, “Wow, I love how dedicated you are to sounding just like Belinda Carlisle whenever she comes on the radio.” “It’s so nice to see how happy swishing your coffee around in your mouth before you swallow makes you.” “I really admire how daring you are for picking that shade of red for your toenails!” You see? There’s always something nice to say about a weird habit. And a little positive spin can go a long way.

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