Why your parents should meet before you two get engaged

Meeting your boo’s parents is big time. It comes with a lot of stress and a lot of meaning for your relationship. So, I’m not trying to discount that experience at all. But, I have to say that you meeting your boo’s parents is nothing compared to when your boo’s parents meet your parents. It’s more people, more personalities, more moving parts and more parents. Add all of that together and you’ve got a really high stakes situation. Still, the stress and sweat are very worth it. In fact, I think it’s mandatory for your parents to meet before you two get engaged. Here’s why.

Merging families

An engagement means that your boo and you are creating a new family together. And yes, that means your immediate family unit of the two of you and any children you have together, but it’s also bigger than that. The new family also includes joining your extended families. It’s a matter of respect to introduce the people you’re about to join together for the rest of your lives before you actually take the plunge. Of course, the decision of who you marry is yours and your parents don’t necessarily know best, so this isn’t about getting their buy in, per se. It’s more a courtesy to show that you value their feelings and want them to be as comfortable as possible with your relationship choices.

Establishing commitment

Introducing parents to parents is kind of like a pre-engagement ritual. No one does the parent meeting for fun. It’s a meaningful thing and shows how dedicated both of you are to forwarding your relationship. Of course, you probably already know that about your boo because you’ve talked about it. But, in the immortal lyrics of Extreme, “More than words is all you have to do to make it real.” Actions sometimes do speak louder than words and organizing the parent meeting is a loud speaking action. That’s for sure.

Planning your wedding

You never know what chemistry with a group of people will be like until they’re in the same room together. And this parent meet-n-greet is the only way you’re going to know how your folks and your boo’s folks will mix. If it goes well, super. Have any kind of wedding you want. If it doesn’t, then maybe that can inform seating at your wedding or even what kind of wedding you have. Because wedding planning happens immediately after an engagement, you need to have this information before you two get engaged.

Parents meeting each other is a big deal and the fact that you’re thinking about says a lot about how serious your relationship is and how much you value your family, which are both great things. Remember, this meeting isn’t to get anyone’s buy in or approval. And many happy marriages exist where in-laws don’t like each other. This is merely a step, an important one, on your path to engagement.