The Men's Room - Love and Relationship Advice From a Man For Women

Why Are Some Men Pathetic Boyfriends?

Women in irritated with her boyfriend at dinnerI get thousands of emails from women every week, and last week I pulled one out that grabbed my attention that I want to share with you today. This lady asked a question I know a lot of you want the answer to, and I want this to start changing the way you think about men, dating, and the responsibility you put on yourselves to find “the one.”

So this email is from a lady who wants to know how she can teach men to be better daters. She says…

“Dear David,

How can I get men to become better daters after the initial connection?

Some men I meet are great at the first meeting, but then they just give me their number or take mine, and then tell me to call them when I want to hook up. Why do modern men make women do all the running? Why can’t men just take control and be the ones who make the plans? It seems like most the guys I meet only want to communicate by text message, and it’s so impersonal.

Some men get it, but I’m so frustrated with the whole dating game. Why are men so afraid to take the lead nowadays? I just want them to invest more. I’m dating a man now, but he’s so passive it drives me crazy. He leaves everything to me. He’s so laid back, and shows no interest in taking an active role in the relationship? What can I do to get him to invest in our relationship?”

David says…

Why would you want to waste your time dating a man who has no interest in putting any effort into the relationship?

Why do you want to “teach” this man how he should act in a relationship?

Do you want a man or a child?

As a woman, you should only invest in men that can be bothered to take the time and effort to make you feel good. You should be connecting with men who are great at connecting with women. You should only be dating men who know how to flirt, court, and take control. It’s not your job to show them what to do, or teach them how to treat a woman. Don’t mess around with someone who is only putting minimum effort into you. If the best this guy can do is sit back and let you do all the work, I’d seriously consider whether you want to be with him long-term.

Think about it this way…

If what you’re seeing now is his best effort, it’s only going to get worse. Only spend your time on men who actually make an effort with you. You need it. You desire it. You deserve it. Never sell yourself short. Because as soon as you do, you’re just going to be in these relationships where the man takes advantage of you, doesn’t make you feel good, and doesn’t romance you.

If you stay with this guy, you’re just going to be banging your head against a wall, trying to teach someone who doesn’t want to learn what you’re teaching.

If what you’re seeing from him now is his best effort, do you think it’s going to get better or worse in the future?

The moment you show him you’re happy to settle for things as they are, you’ll be stuck in these kinds of relationships forever.

Don’t waste time on him if he’s not going to make an effort with you. You desire it. You deserve it. You need it. Don’t sell yourself short in life ever. The moment you show him you’re happy to settle for things as they are, you’ll be stuck in these kinds of relationships forever. Women are entitled to expect a man to romance them. I teach guys all the time about the importance of making women feel good about themselves. If you stay with this man, I’m afraid you’re going to be left banging your head against a brick wall. My suggestion would be you give him an ultimatum to smarten up or ship out.

It’s time for you to connect with a real, emotionally mature, and relationship-ready man. In fact, if you don’t already have a copy of my program for women, “Connect With Him” I suggest you grab a copy while you can, because it shows you step-by-step where to meet strong, confident men who aren’t scared to take the lead, and then how to connect with them and make them crave to be your man.