Maybe your career isn’t going well right now or there are health issues in your family. Money could be tight or maybe something’s triggering bad memories. Whatever the case is, I’m sorry that you’re struggling right now. If there’s any comfort in knowing that you’re not alone, you’re really, truly not. Tough times happen to everyone, no matter how happy, healthy or wealthy they are. Headwinds are just part of life. They’re the crappy awful part, but it’s a very real part. And I actually think hardship can be helpful in a relationship. Here’s why.
When you’re going through the ringer, you don’t have time to play games. You have to communicate clearly about what you’re feeling and what you need from your partner. And, as crappy as your situation is, that’s actually a good thing. Keep these clear communication skills up even when things calm down and your relationship will be in a better place for it.
A trying time is the right time to lean on your partner for support. This gives your man a chance to show just how capable he is of being your rock. Let him take care of you while you’re dealing with this. It’s good for your relationship to know you can trust each other to be just as present when times are tough as you can when things are going well. This is basically one big trust fall and team building moment for your relationship.
Of course, the above points are assuming that your partner and you do well together during times of struggle. That’s not always the case. If you feel distant from your partner, like he’s trying not to hear you when you communicate your needs, or just unsupported and left out in cold, that indicates something else for your relationship. It means that it’s time to end it. Having a relationship that’s only good when everything is sunshine, rainbows and ponies isn’t valuable at all. You deserve someone who can be there for you when times are tough, too. So, you need to move on. I know you’re thinking, “Patti, the title of this post promised that tough times would be good for my relationship and now you’re saying they lead to break ups.” Well, this tough time might not be good for an unsupportive relationship. But, it will help you end a bad one and free you up to get into a good one. So, tough times are good for the right relationship and will lead you to your Mr. Right sooner than you think.
Really sorry about what you’re going through. Wish I could hug each and every one of you and make it all go away. Good luck! You’ll get through this.