The Love Hunt

The Relationship Dos and Don’ts For The Modern World: The Social Media Dilemma

Woman faces social media dilemma with her relationshipWhen do you and your boyfriend make it ‘Facebook official’? Should you delete old pictures of your ex and you? Do you share your Facebook passwords with your boyfriend and vice versa? How do we define our real-life relationships, online, relative to social media? Today’s modern world poses a new dilemma, the social media dilemma, in which past generations never had to consider: How do we maneuver our real-life relationships into this new and inevitable social media arena and how do we distinguish when it’s appropriate to transition these relationships that we have in real life- online? It is exactly this: no different than in the olden days, we must lay down the ground rules for our relationships offline as well as online.

Welcome to online dating etiquette of the modern world! Let’s break it down girls!

When do you and your boyfriend make it ‘Facebook official’?

You, as the girl, should absolutely never be the first to make it ‘Facebook official’ with your boyfriend. Moreover, you guys are not considered ‘Facebook official’ until he has actually asked you to be exclusive in real life. So if he has not introduced you to his friends and family and doesn’t call you his girl friend yet, this is an obvious ‘hell no’ you better not make it Facebook official yet, girl. Much like in real life, I believe the guy should make the first move in taking the relationship to the next level, which now includes this weird virtual world of being exclusive ‘online’. So if you two are dating in real life but he doesn’t claim you as his girl on Facebook after some time then I would start to question his true motives, is he a player? The reasoning behind this is that like in real life, if a guy is truly into a girl he wants the whole world to know it. So please, ladies, never ever ever make the first move to be ‘Facebook Official’ and if your boy doesn’t make that move for you both after some time, I’d start to question the exclusivity of your relationship and let him know that you are fair game for other guys to want to meet you-both online and in real life- because really- what have we all learned over the years? ‘If you like it you better put a ring on it’, thank you Beyoncé, or in other words (applicable to the social media arena) ‘if you like it you better Facebook claim that sh*t!’ 

Do you delete pictures of you and your ex, if so, when?

I’m a firm believer that the past is in the past, so it really shouldn’t matter to your new boy if you have old pictures of your past relationships (unless the pictures are inappropriate, which shouldn’t be on Facebook anyways…). I say leave it up to yourself- if you want to take down your old pictures because you feel it makes him uncomfortable, and then by all means go ahead. But for him to make you take them down is a whole other ballgame of possessiveness and jealousy. On the flip side, you, girl friend have no right to tell your beau to take down his old pictures with his girl that you are jealous of, get over it he’s with you for a reason! I say only take them down if you want to out of respect for your partner. On the contrary, your partner not taking down old pictures of his ex means nothing at all so don’t be a psychopath and read into it J.

When is the right point when you first start dating, to add him on Facebook or ‘follow’ him on Instagram?

This one is easy- you do nothing. He must add you first, and if he doesn’t and you add him first you’re kind of a hunter, sorry :/.

What to do when girls start writing on your man’s timeline or liking all his pictures- (the virtual way of hitting on him)?

Stop right there -these we call ‘thirsty bitches’ – don’t do anything just make fun of them with your boyfriend. If you try to call it out you look jealous and that’s never a cute look baby girl. Just leave it; if he really loves you he won’t care either. Remember he prefers to be with you, that’s why you’re his girl friend!

Do you share your Facebook passwords with your boyfriend? Is that trust or is it too close for comfort?

It’s much too close for comfort. This is an invasion of privacy and everyone has their right to privacy, so do to others as you would want to be done to you- would you want your boyfriend reading your Facebook private messages? Probably not, so why would it be ok if you read his? If you guys trust each other this should not even be in your heads. Sharing Facebook passwords is the new modern and virtual way to say ‘I don’t trust you’.

Basically no matter what your relationship dilemma is, it’s really no different online than in the real world. Whatever has always worked and applied to relationships in the past, applies online, such as men making the first move and courting the girl, etc. You wouldn’t chase a guy in real life so why would you online? Ultimately, in this new social media arena we must all lay down the ground rules for our relationships offline as well as online, so always monitor what makes you comfortable and what makes you uncomfortable in any given relationship. Think smart and don’t pay so much attention to your social media, because in the end it’s all supposed to be for fun, so relax!