Patti's Blog

Why You Should Never Date a Man Who Physically Fights


Ugh, ugh, ugh. Are you reading up on the Orlando Bloom/Justin Bieber fight? Apparently, Orlando and Justin were both at Cipriani in Ibiza. What happened between them is kind of murky. Some folks say a few years ago Justin had a thing (or at least a flirtation) with Orlando Bloom’s then-wife Miranda Kerr. Later, Orlando was spotted with Justin’s on-again-off-again girlfriend Selena Gomez in a potentially romantic situation. It’s unclear if it’s just this history that lead Bloom to swing at Bieber or if something went down that night. But, what we know is that Bloom tried to punch Justin Bieber.

A lot of the Internet is applauding Bloom because Bieber is such an easy-to-mock guy. And I can’t disagree with Justin’s annoying-factor. If he ever came to me for matchmaking, I’d whip him into shape! (Justin, if you’re reading this, CALL ME!) But, I will disagree with anyone applauding violence. Not to turn into a flower child, but violence is not the answer. And here’s why you need to ditch your man if he’s a violent guy who gets into fights…even if he’s Orlando Bloom!

Poor problem solving

Being in a relationship is all about communication, compromise and problem solving together. A man who resorts to violence when he’s stressed or in a tough situation is a man who isn’t good at problem solving. I know, I know. He just gets into fights at bars. With other men. He’d never get violent with you. But, just because he’s not getting violent with you doesn’t mean that he’s good at communicating clearly and compromising on solutions. Take your red flags where you can and back away from a violent guy before you two have a serious problem and you see his crappy problem solving skills in action.

Doesn’t know what a real man is

A lot of men fight because they think it’s the manly thing to do. Like, it somehow makes them more masculine because they’re not afraid to get physical. The truth is that fighting and aggression have nothing to do with true manliness. A real man focuses on providing for his family, being a good role model and taking care of himself. A guy who puts himself in harm’s way isn’t fulfilling any of those real man requirements. A fighter is more concerned with looking manly than actually being a good man. His priorities are all out of whack!

Bad example

You’re with your man because you think he’s going to be a good partner, right? You want him to be a provider for your family, both in terms of providing financially and spiritually. You want your man to be a role model for your kids. If your son said to you, “I want to grow up just like Daddy,” that should warm your heart, not worry you. If you think your guy is going to be a bad role model for your future kids, get out now! You want to partner with someone you respect and hope your kiddies emulate.

I know it’s tough to imagine kicking Orlando Bloom out of bed, but trust me, you don’t want a violent dude. You’ll find someone just as sexy as Orlando with a better temper and problem solving skills. Just keep looking!