So you had a one-night stand. Good for you, girl. Consider this your virtual high five. I know, you might be surprised hearing me say that because I’m the captain of the no-sex-until-monogamy team. That rule only applies if you’re looking for a relationship. If you’re out to get yours, I’m fully in support of that… as long as you’re safe. But if you’re reading this, it probably means that you had a one-night stand and now you’re feeling icky about it. That happens sometimes. Something that’s a great idea at night can look a whole lot less great in the morning light. If you have the post-one-night-stand icks, here’s how to recover.
Wash that man right out of your hair
… and your phone and your thoughts. Your one-night-stand guy isn’t your forever guy, that’s for sure. So stop thinking about him. You did what you did and it was fun, but it wasn’t meaningful. You’re moving on up to a real relationship that starts on the firm groundwork of monogamy before getting physical, and step one is to get over this little fling. Don’t call him, don’t Facebook friend him and do your best not to think about him.
Make a plan
I know this makes me sound super type A, and that’s totally because I am. You need to make a plan for meeting a new man. I’m no fortuneteller, but I can certainly tell you that you’re not going to meet a new guy by sitting around in your apartment not having one-night stands. Start online dating, join a running club, hang out at places like steak house bars where real men spend time. Get strategic about meeting the kind of man you want to spend more than one night with. When I was in my dating prime, I even made a little schedule for myself detailing when, where and what I was doing on which days to meet dudes. And it really, really worked.
If you’re prone to one-night stands, take some precautions so that it doesn’t happen again. Offer to be the designated driver when you go out so you don’t get too drunk and make the wrong decisions. Wear gross granny panties so you’re too embarrassed to take a stranger home. Do whatever it takes to make sure you stay away from going home with anyone you’re really interested in so that you can turn that interest into an actual date.
Don’t beat yourself up
One-night stands are nothing to be ashamed of. Even the walk of shame is nothing to be ashamed of. You’re on the path for love, and it’s bound to be bumpy. Making mistakes is part of the game. And not all one-night stands are mistakes. You learn something from them, and they inform the rest of your love life. Don’t be upset with yourself for having one, and don’t let your heart linger on the guy for too long. Another guy just as magnetically attractive will come along, and you two will wait until you’re committed to each other before having sex and it will be amazing. I promise!