Ask Emily: How to get Comfortable with Going Down

Hi Emily, I’m 24 years old and the guy I’m dating is my first sexual partner—so I’m a newbie at everything but I’m pretty open to learning and trying new things. I know he really wants me to give him a blow job, but I don't know how! I have a ton of fear around it. I really want to try it, but I can't get over that scared feeling I get when I think about doing it, partly because I don’t know what I’m doing but also because I want us both to enjoy the experience. What can I do to get over the fear and become more comfortable with giving him a blow job? And how can I make it a good one? Read more

How to Help My Partner Last Longer in Bed

Dear Emily, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and love him to bits. He's great! The only thing that kinda gets me down is that he doesn't last as long as he used to. He says that he's just too turned on, which I guess I understand, but he doesn't try to help me finish. What can I do to help him last longer? And how can I get him to understand that he should be helping ME orgasm too, not rolling over and passing out? Read more

Ask Emily: Is a Casual Sex Relationship Right for You?

Dear Emily, About 5 years ago, I had a casual sex relationship with a man and it was the best sex I’ve ever had. We went on a few dates, but there was no intellectual connection. And that was fine, since neither of us were looking for anything serious. Fast forward to now: I broke up with my boyfriend about a month and a half ago and recently texted my old booty-call asking if he is single. He is, but he mentioned that he is looking to change that. Now, I know we don’t have a connection, we will never have a relationship and we’ve both said we’re over the casual sex thing. However, I haven't been physically satisfied for over five years with anyone except for him. Read more

How to recover from a walk of shame

So you had a one-night stand. Good for you, girl. Consider this your virtual high five. I know, you might be surprised hearing me say that because I’m the captain of the no-sex-until-monogamy team. That rule only applies if you’re looking for a relationship. If you’re out to get yours, I’m fully in support of that... as long as you’re safe. But if you’re reading this, it probably means that you had a one-night stand and now you’re feeling icky about it. That happens sometimes. Something that’s a great idea at night can look a whole lot less great in the morning light. If you have the post-one-night-stand icks, here’s how to recover. Read more

What should your number be?

What’s the perfect number? SeekingArrangement.com recently came out with a study saying that 10 is the magic number. Per this study, both men and women want their partner to have slept with 10 other people before them. Any more would be considered promiscuous, and any less would seem inexperienced. I’m not quite sure I’m sold on this number. And even though I recognize that sex is a huge deal in a relationship, I’m not convinced that the number of people you’ve slept with previously should have any bearing on your current relationship. Here’s what I think. Read more

Here’s the deal: There’s a time and a place for casual sex

casual sex relationship
Every woman needs to clear out the pipes once in a while. If you’re not ready for a relationship, casual sex can work. It’s called "friends with benefits" for a reason -- you like the guy, there’s a physical attraction and you have fun together. The benefit is the easy, unattached sex without the regular needs and requirements of a relationship. It’s an arrangement that can be great for those who don’t want to sleep with multiple partners in order to get a little action. It’s all the fun and play without the deeper needs of a relationship... in a perfect world. Read more