I’m no shrinking violet. Well, that might be the biggest understatement of the century. I speak my mind. But does that mean that I want to steal my man’s thunder and emasculate him at every turn? No way! You can “wear the pants” in your relationship by being louder and earning more money, but here’s how to be the woman you are without hindering him from being the man that he is.
Communicate
I say communicate more than I say any other word in the English language, I think. But good communication really is the secret to relationship success. Talk to your man about what’s important to you, and give him plenty of opportunity to talk to you about what’s important to him. Let him tell you how he feels about who “wears the pants” and how to make him feel more or less “pantsy.” If you’re like me, it’s going to be no surprise to your guy that he’s with a girl who isn’t afraid to take the lead. But it may be a surprise to you what lines are important for you not to cross so he still feels like a man in your relationship. An open conversation is a great start.
Divide responsibilities
The two of you need to decide together who “wears the pants” in what elements of the relationship. For example, who takes out the trash? Who books your social engagements? Who handles your bills? Once you’ve established who is responsible for what, you won’t really notice who “wears the pants” more because you’ll each have your own areas of power.
Don’t gloat
No matter how many pairs of pants you own and wear, it’s your responsibility to make sure your partner is happy in your relationship. Constantly rubbing his face in how “unmanly” he is can seriously hurt your dynamic. He’s just as equal a part of this relationship as you are, even if he earns less or speaks more softly, and there’s no need to gloat about areas where you excel and he’s behind.
Keep it private
Your pants-wearing dynamic is your pants-wearing dynamic. Keep it private. Whatever your financial or emotional split in the couple is, don’t brag about it to other people. I hate when I hear a guy bragging about how he didn’t “let” his wife buy something because she doesn’t understand money. Gross. And it’s just as unbecoming when a woman does it about her man. Keep your finances and your relationship split to yourselves, and don’t shame him in front of your friends.
What do you think? Can a woman wear the pants in a relationship without stealing a guy’s thunder? Or do strong-personality women need men with even stronger personalities?
