How to ask to bring a plus one to a wedding

Wedding GuestWedding season is in full swing and will be going on for several more months. As you probably know, I love a wedding! Going to a ton of weddings is one of the biggest perks of my job and nothing makes me happier than dancing at a satisfied client’s wedding. Of course, I’m not so into weddings that I’m blinded to the stress that comes along with them. I totally do. And you don’t have to be the bride or groom to feel it. You don’t even have to be in their family or close group of friends. Just opening a wedding invitation addressed to you can bring on some seriously stressful feels. One of the biggest things I hear people stressing over is how to ask for a plus one when they’re invited solo. So, here are my tips.

Find out about the wedding

Before you even start with the plus one request, do your research on the wedding and find out what kind of wedding it is. Some weddings make sense to request a date and others really don’t. For example, if this is a 35 person event of only close family and friends, then it doesn’t make sense for you to ask for an extra person. But, if this is a traditional wedding that’s large and more about having a grand old party than intimacy, putting out feelers for a date is much more in the realm of possibility.

Introduce the couple to your boo

If it’s at all possible, introduce your man to the couple. Invite them over to dinner or plan a fun double date for the two of you. Once the couple sees how into your man you are and how much more fun you’d have with him at their event, they should extend the invitation on their own, without you even having to ask or hint to it. If they don’t, all is not lost. Keep reading!

Directly ask

If they didn’t invite your man to their big day after a hang out, or if you can’t organize a get together due to geographical reasons, you’re going to have to bite the bullet and flat out ask them. I’d recommend doing it via e-mail or text. I’m generally into in person or phone calls for big questions or conversations, but this is an exception. You want to put the request out there and then give them time to think about their answer. Remember, it’s not just asking to bring a guy to a happy hour. You could be asking them to spend a few hundred dollars on bringing another head to this event. It’s a big deal! So, send a clear and courteous note and then wait while they figure out logistics and get you a response.

Be OK with no

This is the tough part. You have to be OK with getting a no. Ultimately, it’s not your party. So, the call isn’t yours. The bride and groom (or bride and bride or groom and groom…whatever!) get to make the final decision. So, if their decision isn’t to include your man, you have to be OK with it. Go to the wedding and find a way to have fun without a date. It’s not ideal, obviously. But, make it work and don’t make the couple feel bad about their decision. You’re there to celebrate them, not guilt them!

My fingers are crossed that you’ll score that extra invitation because it’s so romantic to be at a wedding with your favorite person. Good luck!