The Adventures of Cupid in Boystown

The Pick Up Lines

This past weekend, I was super excited to partake in one of Boystown’s newest Night Life Attractions: The Pick Up Line!

The “Pick Up Line” is a free trolley service that was created to encourage local nightlife seekers to adventure out on foot and safely enjoy the many bars and restaurants along Santa Monica Boulevard.

Once on board, we were instantly greeted by a friendly driver, thumping dance music and shoved into a mass of good-looking men.

“I have died and gone to heaven,” I instantly think.

After all, what could be better than being in a tight space with good-looking men and club music?

But just as the excitement of the adventure gets started, a familiar chorus of words begins to fill the air:

“ Your hot! What’s your name!?” 

“Ooooooh Daddy!”

And my favorite:

“The only way I’m getting of this trolley- is if he’s with me!”

Yes my friends, The Pick Up Line was living up to all my expectations as the hottest place to meet men in the city!  Who knew that when riding The Pick Up Line, one could actually get picked up while riding it!

With every stop came more men, more fresh meat and more pick up lines. I was starting to really feel bad for the guys on the receiving end. They innocently get aboard public transportation and fall victim to the same cat calling that our straight gal-pals get when crossing a construction site.

Yes my friends, The Pick Up Line was living up to all my expectations as the hottest place to meet men in the city!  Who knew that when riding The Pick Up Line, one could actually get picked up while riding it!

Have gay men always been this bad delivering pick up lines or was this just part of the new West Hollywood Trolley experience? After all, if one was single I’d like to think that this kind of flattery would be welcomed. On this night however, it’s uncomfortable.

When we reached our destination, we exited from the trolley and spilled into the bars with the vengeance of a twenty-one-year-old.

But something was different about tonight. It’s as if I was more in tune with the “single guy” and his plight to survive a night in WeHo.

At each bar I went to, I was somehow able to hear more guys getting hit on with bad pick up lines. Like I just discovered a new gay super power.

At that very moment I realized that gay men were just as bad (if not worse) than our straight counterparts when it came to hitting on another guy at a bar.

In the city known for it’s hot men, clubs and bars, was the only successful “Pick Up Line” a city-funded party bus?

As I began to dissect the many failed attempts at guys getting hit on, it was abundantly clear that most men are not even trying to be chivalrous at flirting.

They are aggressive, raunchy and sometimes just plain rude.

So in an attempt to course correct many of you gay men out there, here are my top five rules for flirting when out at a gay bar:

  1. Don’t ever EVER start with, “I think you’re hot.”
    Sounding like a dumb frat guy and leading with sexually charged 18-year-old pick up line is never a turn on. If you happen to see a handsome guy, simply say to him, “excuse me, but I just wanted to let you know how incredibly handsome you are.” Assuming all goes well, introduce yourself, offer a drink and move on. If the feeling is mutual, they will find you again. I love a good cat and mouse chase!
  2. Compliment.
    Talking about yourself is a big turn off. Nobody cares about who you are in that first 10 seconds you have at flirting. Your best shot at a successful pick up is to compliment them on their outfit, hair or smile.
  3. If you’re drunk, you’re a skunk. Try again another day.
    There is nothing else to say here.  DO NOT ATTEMPT FLIRTING!
  4. Include the BFFs.
    More often than not, good-looking single gay men travel in wolf packs. Don’t forget that he has friends that he is with. If you want to get good with the buddies, try buying them a round of drinks.
  5. Be nice.
    Last and certainly not least, BE NICE! This is the most underused piece of advice that I can ever give! Men are constantly saying that they are looking for a good guy; manners and niceness are HUGE! Even asking if it’s okay to exchange numbers, or dare I say give a goodnight kiss is swoon-worthy. Too many guys go for in for the kill and it’s too slutty of a move in my book. Prince Charming would never grab your ass in public!

If you follow these simple rules, you will be light years ahead of the rest of the guys out there. Remember first impressions go a long way and if you happen to find that diamond in the rough on the same night as your buddies bachelor party, remember the gentleman will always win in the end.

Till next blog,

David (aka Cupid)