First, let me take a second to define the term “fuckboy” for anyone who’s unfamiliar. A fuckboy is basically a dude who’s selfish and a user when it comes to relationships. He’s only interested in the sexual, not emotional, parts of a relationship and will never commit to a woman. Often, he’s shady or confusing in how he texts or talks to the women he’s dating and leads them on. Think of fuckboys as douchebag players, but lamer. Now that we’re all on the same page about what fuckboys are, here’s how we can all avoid dating them!
Reverse the golden rule
The golden rule is about treating others how you want to be treated. But, when it comes to my self-talk about relationships, I think about treating myself as I’d treat others. I’m really good at giving other people advice on their relationships and insisting that they be treated like the queens and kings that they are. But, sometimes it’s more difficult to give that same quality of advice to myself. If I see a man acting like a fuckboy toward me, it’s easy for my to explain it away to myself. So, when I feel that happen, I tell myself to give myself the advice I’d give someone else in my shoes. And that’s when it clicks that I deserve so much better than dating a fuckboy! Reversing the golden rule is all it takes to be able to guide yourself away from a fuckboy.
Be open and honest
Now, I’m not defending fuckboys because, gross! But, I will say that they’re normally not doing anything technically wrong when it comes to their bad behavior because no clear rules have been set. For example, it’s not cheating if you two haven’t explicated stated that you’re monogamous. So, be open and honest with every man you date. Don’t stress about being a “cool girl” and not having relationships talks too early. It’s never too early to express what you want out of a relationship and set your boundaries. If he’s in it to win it, great. If he’s not, that’s great, too. You just avoided a fuckboy!
Write down your long-term personal goals. I know that can be stressful, but I always think it’s important to put your goals on paper because it’s really motivating. If you want to avoid dating fuckboys, this list will also be helpful. Look at your list and ask yourself if this dude will help you achieve any of these goals. Could he be the father to your children? Does he seem like he’s worthy of being introduced to your parents? Will he sacrifice to support you in your professional goals? Be honest with your answers. Don’t make excuses for his icky behavior or tell yourself that he can turn into someone who would work with your long-term goals. If he’s a fuckboy now, he’s not worth putting your long-term goals on hold for. Fuckboys never change! So, get rid of him and find a man who can help you achieve your dreams.
Hope these three strategies help you avoid getting too involved with a fuckboy. They’re never worth your time. Trust me.