You’re seeing diet commercials non-stop, your mailbox is full of membership deals from local gyms and all of your Facebook ads are for meditation apps. Yep, it’s the new year and it’s time for New Year’s resolutions. Personally, I don’t think you have to wait for a new year to start fresh. After all, every single morning is an opportunity for a fresh start. But, if flipping a calendar page is motivating to you, I say use that momentum and start working toward your goals. If you happen to be a single girl looking for a man, I have three resolutions you need to make. And I know they sound out there, but trust me on these. They work.
Be uncomfortable more
If you’ve been single for a while, you’re probably really comfortable with your life, singledom included. And that’s not a bad thing. But, if you’re looking for a big change in your life, like a new romantic partner, you’re going to have to make some serious changes and shake things up. So, try new things that make you uncomfortable. Have you been going to the same gym three mornings a week for years? Then spend a night at a rock climbing gym. And yeah, rock climbing is hard and you’ll probably embarrass yourself the first time you do it, but that’s the point. You’ll be out of your comfort zone and for some reason, that’s a magnet to men. Maybe you’ll move to a new city or new apartment. Maybe it’s getting a new job. It could just be wearing something more low cut than you normally do or walking to work instead of driving. Whatever it takes, no matter how big or small it is, make a resolution to very purposely step out of your comfort zone once a week for the entire year. And keep a journal of it to make sure you stay accountable to your goal. You’ll be meeting new people, opening yourself up and drawing men to you. It really works!
Lower your standards
Wait, wait, wait! Before you click out of this, please read on. I’m not saying that you should lower your standards in the sense that you should accept that you’re not going to be as happy with a partner as you thought. I’m saying you should lower your standards in the sense that you might not be 100% correct on the criteria you think will make you happy. For example, one of my besties was obsessed with finding a well-dressed man who had a great education, was successful, had a full head of hair, made her laugh, was Catholic, enjoyed good wine and travel and wanted kids. It’s a long list! I had a major heart to heart with here where I explained that having too many non-negotiables was hurting her chances at love. She followed my advice and went out with a man who fulfilled most of her requirements, but was bald and a very dorky dresser. Guess what? She’s been married to him for years and they’re madly in love and have an amazing family. And yeah, he still had no hair and wears awful jeans, but she’s so happy and really grateful that she lowered her standards on what she thought would make her happy and opened herself up to what actually made her happy. Get it?
Lose your friends
I love my friends. They’re my chosen family and I really feel that way. But, when I’m single and on the prowl for a new man, I don’t go out with them. I totally ditch them and go out alone. I mean, of course I still have my girls’ nights and brunches. But when I’m in the mood to flirt, I go out by my lonesome because large groups of women are intimidating to any man. But, a woman alone nursing a drink at a quiet bar is mysterious and approachable. Trust me. I’ve tested this theory approximately a million times. So, single girl, mark off two nights a month to go out solo and treat it like a date with yourself. Dress up, go somewhere fancy and really enjoy the evening alone because I have a feeling that if you follow this plan, you won’t have many nights alone in your future!
So, there you go, my single ladies. Those three resolutions may sound nutty, but I know they’ll help you find a new guy this year.