3 Kinda insane New Year’s resolutions everyone in a couple needs to make

2017 couple goalsIt’s a new year. And if you’re in a relationship, you may think that romance and dating resolutions don’t apply to you. But, they certainly can! If you make a few small resolutions and commit to them, you can improve on your relationship and make it even better and more loving. I need you to trust me here because on the surface, these resolutions sound really bizarre. But, believe me, they’re effective.

Ruin all of his surprises

This one isn’t actually about snooping through his phone and taking the thrill out of surprises he’s planned for you, it’s about communicating what you need and want. I get it…having the perfect man by your side who can read your mind and knows how to please you better than you know how to please yourself is ideal. But guess what? That perfect man doesn’t exist! So, you have to tell your guy what you need from him to feel loved. He’s not going to know that you want him to cook you dinner unless you tell him. He’s not going to know you want him to sign your holiday cards himself instead of you signing his name unless you point that out to him. And he’s not going to think about thanking you for making reservations at his favorite restaurant unless you share that with him. So, stop expecting surprises from him and instead tell him exactly what you need to feel loved and appreciated. Even without the thrill of him thinking of these little things himself, having those things done for you will feel really, really good.

Fight more

Here’s another resolution that boils down to basic communication. It’s common for couples to try really hard to not sweat the small stuff. In theory, this sounds great. But, in practice, I find that not discussing small things that pop up in a relationship can lead to a lot of pushed down emotions and resentment that boil over into whopper fights. Obviously, not optimal. So, I say get everything out in real time instead. Sure, it may lead to a bit more bickering or fighting, but those will be manageable conversations as opposed to monsoon arguments. A regular pattern of disagreements followed by communication, empathy and ultimately a resolution that satisfies both of you is a healthy pattern to create.

Date someone else

When you’re seriously dating someone, you can wind up spending a lot of your free time as couple time and lose out on alone time. Resolve to carve out alone time for yourself this year so you can date someone new…and that someone is yourself. Yep, I’m telling you to take yourself out on dates. Do fun stuff without your partner. Get dressed up for yourself. Treat yourself to special things because you deserve them for being you. It sounds so cheesy, I know, but it will make you feel more centered and more confident in who you are. And ultimately, it will make you a better partner. So, you’re doing this for both of you!

Hope those three resolutions gave you some food for thought on how you can recommit to your relationship this year.