Dressed to Date

Top 5 Tinder Pictures That Won’t Get You Laid

Tinder app opens on IphoneWe all have the app. We all swipe through it from time to time. But what turns a swipe into a date (or even a hookup)? Just like any dating website, the answer to that question is your picture. Here are my top 5 tinder pictures that definitely won’t get you laid:

5. The quote picture

Really, a quote? You don’t have a single picture of yourself to post? This has red flags all over it. Also, did you get that quote from Pinterest? Guys, just because we enjoy Pinterest does not mean we want the picture of our possible future hookup (or husband) to be an inspirational quote. Thanks for the inspiration, but I’m going to swipe left.

4. The animal picture

You have a dog. Or maybe you just love dogs. I’m not really sure, but why did you put that as your profile picture? Did you think that maybe I’d swipe right because we both share a love for pugs? Wrong. I want a picture of your face, not your dog. Also, if you’re actively choosing your dog’s face over your own, then I’m genuinely concerned.

3. The group picture

Look, if I’m going through Tinder, I don’t want to invest a lot of time. That means I definitely don’t have the time to figure out which bro you are in the picture of you and your homies at the club. Chances are you aren’t the cute one I’m looking at, which is why you decided a picture with you and your friends would be best. I’m glad to see you have friends though; keep up the good work.

2.  The picture of you and a child

Aw, he’s good with kids – wait, is that his kid? Just like I don’t have the time to decipher between you and your friends, I definitely don’t have the time to investigate the adorable child is in your picture. If I see a picture of you and a small child, I will automatically assume that’s your child.  Even if you put in the information section that it’s your niece, why bother? I will find out that you love your niece after a few dates, not from a picture.

1. The picture of you and another woman

Why? Just, why. This is so common on Tinder and it infuriates me every single time. Maybe you’re right, and that is the greatest photo of you ever taken, and it just so happens to be taken with your sister. Cool, well, choose a different photo or utilize the crop feature. If I see another woman in your photo—your main photo—I will swipe to the left without blinking an eye.

On Tinder, a picture is all you’ve got. Yes, some people take the time to read your info, but most people judge a book by its cover. If you’re looking to get any woman on Tinder or any dating website for that matter, please take my advice and invest in a good headshot. It will be worth your money and then some.