Patti's Blog

How do I tell my boyfriend I need a break?


Wanting a break from your boyfriend isn’t a great feeling. In fact, it’s a totally sucky one. Really sorry you’re going through this. But, fear not, I’m here to help. And, per usual, I have some tough love for you. If your big question is, “How do I tell my boyfriend I need a break?” my big answer is, “You absolutely don’t tell him.” Hear me out. I think you’ll get it if you keep reading.

There’s No Such Thing As A Break.

Call me old fashioned, but I don’t believe in breaks. You’re either together or you’re not. One or the other. No middle ground. That gray area of being on a break is just too wishy-washy to be healthy. When couples go on breaks, that’s when feelings get hurt, good memories get erased and STDs get contracted. (Happened to a friend of mine! So effing scary!) So, either be broken up or be together. Halfway in between isn’t going to do either of you any favors.

Decide What You Really Want

Now that you know that a break isn’t an option, think about what you really want. Is it that you have a list of things you need fixed in your relationship? If that’s the case, get to fixing them! You don’t really want a break. You really wanted to make your relationship better. Is it that you want to date other people, or even just spend a nice long while by yourself? Well, that’s telling me that you might really want a break up and not just a break. Loving someone isn’t enough to keep a relationship going. You have to want to be in the relationship, too. And sometimes that’s not what you really want.

Talk To Him

No matter what you decide, you need to talk to your boyfriend. When you have feelings overwhelming enough to want a break, the only right thing to do is to talk to him about them. Even if you decide to stay together, have a little chat about what you’d like to improve in the relationship and how you think you can do it. If you’ve decided to break up with him, the talk is going to be a lot different and a lot harder. But, you’ll be glad you spoke to him and handled it like an adult instead of icing him out and ghosting him. Trust me, karma gets those people.

Remember That Nothing Is Forever

No break up is forever if the couple is meant to me. I know that I’m saying you can’t take a break, but you can go back to an old relationship if you really, really want to. The difference is that a break means that there are expectations between the breakers involved and that’s not right. But, if there’s a true break up and then a few years later you decide that you two were meant to be, don’t let my little no break rule stop you! (Not like you ever would, but you know!)

Hope this helps you! Give a shout if you have any more questions about going on a break. I have a lot of strong thoughts about this!

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