#AskPatti: How to stop being picky, career question, opposites attraction & more!

Ask Patti Stanger
Hello, my tweeties! I hope you’re having the happiest of holiday seasons. By the time you read this, I’ll probably be on my third hot chocolate of the day with my favorite people. Hot chocolate has been our holiday thing this week and it’s adorable of us, if I do say so myself! Anyway, let me get on with writing this so I can get back to slurping. Your fantastic questions from the week… Read more

Thinking Of A Career Change? Use New Year’s Eve To Test Your Matchmaking Potential

Be a matchmaker with friends on new years
Only five days until we ring in the New Year! How will you be spending your night? If you have been toying with the idea of becoming a matchmaker, New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to make it happen.

Here’s why:

New Years Eve is party central. Singles will be out at these parties feeling alone, but also festive and open. They will be looking their best, ready to have fun, and feeling friendly. These gatherings are a prime time to chat up enough people to build your database. Building a database is one of the first, and most important, tasks you will need to accomplish when starting your matchmaking business. Having an extensive database of singles to work from is imperative. Without a database you are not able to take on paying clients; you would have no one to match them up with! For new matchmakers the prospect of creating a database from scratch seems like a big undertaking, but with the right approach you can build most, if not all, of your database on New Years Eve alone.

Here’s how to make it happen:

Before the party… Know who you are looking for. If you want to work with male clients (clients are the individuals who pay for your matchmaking services), then I recommend you start off with a strong database of 30 single women. To take on female clients you will need to recruit 30 single men. If you are interested in working with both genders your database should begin with 20 men and 20 women. Once you decide on the gender of your clientele, you also need to pinpoint an age group. It is much easier to say you will match people age 20-30 than 20-80. By narrowing your market you will ensure that there are enough options in your database for your clients. You will also be able to target appropriate singles when recruiting for your database. At the party… “Are you single? I have really great people to introduce you to, can I get your information and we can talk after the New Year?” You could also say something along the lines of, “I don’t know if you are single, but I am getting into matchmaking and am looking for people to introduce to my clients.” If you have more time you can get into lengthier conversations with people, but don’t get caught in a half-hour long conversation with someone about his crazy ex-girlfriend! You will lose precious time that you could have spent meeting multiple other people. The name of the game is to talk with as many people as possible. Feeling nervous? Use your role as a matchmaker to spark your bravery. Before I was a matchmaker I was extremely shy and hated talking to people I didn’t know. My identity as a matchmaker is what made me more confident than I ever imagined I could be. I found that people loved talking to me about their relationship status, and were flattered that I wanted them to be part of my database. Don’t make the same mistake I did! Get everyone’s contact information! Don’t hand out your business card and expect people to get in touch with you. I learned the hard way most people wouldn’t always follow up when I gave them my card. By getting their contact information I was able to reach out to them myself after the party. Got 30 names, but don’t know what to do next? If you find that you were a natural at the party, and want to learn more about running a successful matchmaking business, we have a weekend long Live Training on January 23rd at the Matchmaking Institute. This training is an amazing opportunity for matchmakers of all experience levels. Visit the Matchmaking Institute website for details. Sign up to secure your spot today! Twitter: @MatchSchool Facebook: Matchmaking Institute

AskJustin: First date topics and dating games

Ask Justin Bird
Patti always says stay on neutral subjects on first dates. What are some safe topics you use on a first date while still getting to know your date better? Beth 22, New York, New York
You just sat down for dinner or drinks and you either want to a) sprint out the door or b) you are excited to get to know your date better. You are going to need neutral topics regardless of the situation, or maybe a solid excuse to leave. Here are some ideas for neutral subjects to use on your first date:
  • DO ask him/her what qualities they find attractive in a man/woman and further it by asking what qualities are deal-breakers
  • DO discuss siblings and family. This gives some insight into their family tree as well as how they grew up.
  • DO ask about what kind of food/drinks you each prefer, especially if the date is taking place at a restaurant or bar. Sharing your culinary preferences is great because these topics are endless.
  • DO talk about career plans. This will tell you if there is any ambition behind that attractive exterior.
  • DO discuss hobbies and passions. Are they a couch potato on their time off, active, or a balance of both? You decide.
  • DON’T talk about religion, politics, or past relationships on the first date. The idea here is to get to know the person better so you build a solid foundation with your date. There will always be next to bring in the heavy artillery to get under the hood of the car and learn what makes your date tick.
With all the games people play nowadays, how do you know if he’s truly into you? Amber, 29 Seattle, Washington
I believe people have always played games—it’s human nature. The game has been the same, but the approach to dating has changed.Now, why do people play games? I never have understood why. The number one important quality that I see in someone is being genuine. It’s refreshing when those types of people come along. If you have to put on an act, you’re wasting time because your true colors will surface soon. It sounds cliché, but just be yourself! Let people like you for you! You are not here to please everybody, not everyone will like you. The respect you earn in for being real with yourself and your date will take you far in life. We have all played games before at some point and I’m not pretending I never have in my life. I learned from doing so that it is not going to help you find your mate. Life is too short, make the best of every situation.

How to have better sex in 2014

woman in bathtub improving sex life
Who needs traditional New Year’s Resolutions when you can check off “sex in a random bar bathroom” from your bucket list? You need some fun goals in 2014 to balance out your respectable adult goals to become a more organized, put-together person. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, so get naked and start living the life you want in 2014. Here are some fun and sexy things you should add to your goals for 2014. Let the relationship and sexual resolutions begin! Read more

Rock out the New Year with Must-Have Relationship Resolutions

Couple makes new years resolutions over champaign toast
It’s that time of year again – to make New Year’s resolutions. Your list may include losing weight, drinking less or saving more, but what about for your romantic relationship? Good ones don’t just happen naturally. They take time, effort and nurturing. To kick off your 2014 right, here are 5 must-have resolutions for relationship success: Read more

5 Things that should be on your Christmas wish list

woman opens a gift for Christmas
Not sure what to ask for from your special someone this year? I always go blank when my boo asks me what gifts I want. So, over the past few months I’ve been taking notes when I think of good ideas for what my man can get me for the holidays. That way, I’ll be prepped when he pops the holiday gift question. Here’s what I have on my list that you should have on yours too. Read more