The Sex Files with Emily Morse

An orgasm misconception debunked!

Woman's hand claws floor as she orgasms

Dear Emily,I am 28 years old and I got married 5 years ago. I had never had sex before my marriage. I love my husband and we usually have sex twice a week. He always reaches orgasm and is always very happy, however, from the first time we had sex in our relationship, I’ve been unable to reach internal orgasm through intercourse. He always helps me reach orgasm by stimulating my clitoris with his hand. I reach my orgasm, but it doesn’t make me feel fully satisfied and I don’t like it. I like to reach orgasm internally, and reaching orgasm by his hand leaves me with the same feeling of masturbation. We’ve tried many different positions, but we haven’t been able to find an answer. Please help! Thanks a lot in advance, look forward to hearing from you.



Dear Molly,

Many women have this misconception that internal, vaginal orgasm is superior to clitoral orgasm. However, this is not the case. In fact, 75% of women require clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm, whether it be clitoral or G spot. If you want to have an orgasm during sex, try woman on top which allows for more clitoral stimulation as well as using your hand to stimulate your own clitoris. My question is, though, have you ever had a G spot orgasm? if you haven’t, why not buy some sex toys? There are a ton of sex toys that are used solely for women in search of their G-spot. Try checking out Good Vibrations to find one that works for you. Like the Stronic Eins Pulsator or  the Aqua Rabbit Vibrator. You can start using toys on your own or even with your partner’s fingers in order to figure out the best way to figure out how to have a G spot orgasm. It might not happen the first time you try it, but you’ll get to know your internal self better as time goes on.  It takes time, but well worth it!

Dear Emily,

I’m 31 and I’ve had this problem ever since I became sexually active. The tip of my penis is EXTREMELY sensitive to the point of pain! I can have intercourse just fine, but blowjobs are unbearable. If the girl can deepthroat, I can last longer, but most of the time when a girl goes down on me I can only take it for a few minutes before I have to pull her away. Obvious to say I’ve never had an orgasm from a blowjob. My question is, is there any way I can desensitize my penis so i can enjoy them longer? Or am I cursed to have a sex life with very limited blow jobs?



Dear Mark,I’m sorry to hear that you’re experiencing pain. I suggest you talk to your doctor about it first to make sure there is nothing else going on. If you find out that you just simply have a sensitive tip, you can try Promescent! It’s a mild desensitizing spray for your penis, but you still feel everything. Even further, it doesn’t transfer to your partner so she won’t feel it at all. It’s primarily used to prevent premature ejaculation or simply for men that just want to last longer. Even if you last 7 or 8 minutes, your partner might need 15 minutes to orgasm, so Promescent is a great way to help you last longer for your partner’s orgasm. Everyone should check it out, it’s the only FDA approved product of it’s kind. Or, you can always find a woman who loves to deepthroat. At least you’re having good sex, and I hope you can learn how to enjoy oral sex one day soon.

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