Last week, I had a Dear David email that kind of worried me. What worried me the most about it, is that I’ve had similar emails from other women. What is it about these emails that bothered me so much? Well, they come from women who are already married or at least in some kind of long term relationship.
The trouble is the relationship has hit problems. For whatever reason, the couple isn’t connecting anymore, and things look like they could collapse at any moment. So these women are now desperate to save their relationship and keep things together. These women are so desperate to turn things around that they want to know, “Will having another child save my relationship?”
That’s right. These women want to know whether getting pregnant again will somehow make the relationship good again. Somehow, the pressure of a new baby will make all the deeper problems in the relationship disappear and rekindle the passion that was once there.
Have YOU ever been tempted to make this mistake?
I say mistake deliberately, because another child is not going to save your relationship. If anything, having another child will be the final nail in the coffin of your relationship. Children bring stress, sleepless nights, and pressure. Children and full on 24/7. “Give me this. Give me that. I need this now. I need that now.”
That’s not me being horrible. That’s what kids are like. They can’t do things for themselves so they rely on us as parents to do everything for them. It’s a huge mistake to think a brand new baby can turn a relationship around. All another child will do is expose the flaws in your relationship, and make things a million times harder when things break down. Now when you break up, you have another child to cope with on your own. Now you have another child who has to be shoved from pillar to post during the school holidays.
Can Children Save A Marriage?
Have you ever been tempted to have another child in a bid to save a relationship or marriage?
If you’re in a marriage right now that isn’t working, I want you to think very carefully about the affect another child will have on you. How much more or less time will you have for each other? How much more financial pressure will it put on you? What will happen if things don’t work out as you hoped?
Every day I hear from men and women who have been stuck in unhappy relationships for years, all because they decided to see if another child would change how they felt about each other. You only have one life. Your children only have one life. I don’t care how much you love this man, or how much you want to stay together, it’s never right to use a child to save a marriage. A relationship needs to be stronger than ever when you have a child.
Having a child when a relationship is struggling is a disaster waiting to happen. It’s time to think sensibly about this and to stop being selfish. Don’t make a huge mistake. If any of you reading this have made this mistake already, you know what I mean. In fact, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. In the meantime, if you want to turn your relationship around, and connect with a man better than ever before, you need to understand how men think. Get along to my website and I’ll give you an intimate look inside the mind of man!