Brace yourself. Because this will be the most controversial article you have ever read about when to start having sex.
The Myth of the “Three Date Rule”
Now, there’s the myth or the old story about when to have sex. That ridiculous three date rule, then you start having sex.
It’s almost like, okay, let’s go out for three dates.
Date one usually looks something like this: You meet the person for the very first time. You’ve never spoken to them on the phone because people don’t like to pick up the phone at all anymore. You text and you call it talking.
You meet up, you have a two hour drink or two and a half hour drink date. Then you make out a little bit.
And then you have date number two coming up. You do the same thing all over again. You swap a few stories. Impress the hell out of one another, which leads to date number three.
The magical date #3… And you end up back at one or the other’s house. You have sex, because well, it’s the third date.
Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?
I don’t know what relationship expert wrote that. Why should you have to find out whether or not you’ll be good in bed with them?
That’s a good one.
You’ve got to find out if you’re sexually compatible.
Yeah that’s a good one too.
You barely know this person!
And now you’re going to find out if you’re sexually compatible?
All of the sudden, you’re going to have sex with them and that’s going to be the answer because by having sex on the third date, when you barely know this stranger, you’re going to have really great sex? Eh, there’s something wrong with this theory.
I’m going to go deeper into that.
You see, you can have sex on the third date. I’ve done it.
And I’ve also been in relationships with people long term that I’ve had sex on date number three.
None of those people are around anymore.
You see, you let the lust or the craving get the best of you.
So instead of thinking about it in terms of dates, here’s a radical approach.
I’m a firm believer in hours.
I’d say a minimum of at least 100 to 150 hours of hanging out with somebody before you even remotely have sex.
Because that’s a lot of hours that you’ll have to put in with somebody to really truly see the real version of who they are. See nobody can keep it up for 100, 150 hours.
Somebody eventually is going to crack and show the real person.
You’re going to get to see who that person is. Which means…
…you’re going to make a decision whether or not to have sex based on an actual connection.
Not just on actual lust.
See, 150 hours is a long time.
Most dates, most people, sleep with somebody after six hours. Six hours?
You don’t know anybody after six hours. You’re still under the intoxication. Hopefully this person is great and cool and amazing.
But 100 hours to 150 hours? Think about that.
That’s 48 hours every two days.
That’s 96 hours every four days.
That’s spending like four full days with somebody, spread out over a period of time.
You can get a timesheet.
You can actually probably get an app.
We could probably do an app that says “150 hours until sex,” and every time you’re around that person, the iPhone recognizes or your smart phone recognizes the voice of that person and starts keeping logs.
You see, you want to get to know somebody before you give your body to them.
Now, if you just want to get laid and have sex, that’s fantastic.
I’ve got nothing against that.
It’s one of the greatest things in the entire world.
But if you’re looking for love, you’re looking for a relationship, you’re looking to get real with somebody, to be seen, to have love like you’ve never had before, then get to know them.
150 hours is nothing. I think it’s great, and it works.
Because it gives you a chance to get fully comfortable. Now, when do you think the best sex comes in a relationship? When you’re fully 100% comfortable with somebody else. That’s when real intimacy starts. That’s when you have an opportunity to truly connect.
And that’s when real love making happens.
Try it, if you seriously want a relationship, and watch what happens.