How to be a social media sensation even if your boo is social media shy

social mediaDo you all follow Busy Philipps on Instagram? If not, get on it! She’s truly an Instagram Story sensation! She shares so much of her life via social media and you get a real sense of who she is. She comes off as a delightful goofball who’s wickedly funny and very, very relatable. Her social media presence has catapulted her from an actress I wasn’t that familiar with to one of my favorite Hollywood stars. And I’m not the only one. It feels like everyone’s talking about Busy’s Instagram recently. I read about it in Glamour and People and hear about it on podcasts. What I think is particularly great about her Instagram presence is that her husband and two daughters aren’t crazy about being featured in her Instagram Stories and she respects that. She manages to share a ton of her life without sharing very much about her family, which is a tricky balance. If you’re hoping to be a sensation on social media, or even just share a lot of your life with your dozen followers, and your loved ones aren’t eager to featured, here’s how to do it.

Have a conversation

Talk to your boo and take their temperature on your digital presence. They can’t control you, but they are in full control of themselves and how they’re portrayed on your feed. Ask what they’re comfortable with and what crosses the line for them. Maybe it’s OK for you to mention their name but not show their face. Or maybe they only want to be on camera when they’re fully decked out for a night out and not when they’re makeup free. Find out what their boundaries are and respect them.

Be open online

Let your followers know what to expect in terms of seeing your loved ones on camera. Busy mentioned that her husband doesn’t want to be in her Instagram Stories all that frequently. Once I heard her say that, I felt so much better about the fact that I didn’t see him on camera. Same thing with her daughters. In a podcast, she mentioned a conversation she had with her older daughter about what the daughter wanted and didn’t want her mom to post about her. When I heard that, I totally relaxed about seeing or not seeing the daughter now that I knew what she was cool with. Calling out the elephant in the room is the way to go.

Look for small things

I know we’re often defined by our big responsibilities in life…relationships, family, religion, career, etc. But, that’s not what people want to see on social media. For example, with Busy, I’m not that interested in going behind the scenes on her acting gigs or finding out what makes her marriage tick. I mostly enjoy the small things she shares about her life through her unique filter, like her hilarious sweaty workout videos or her reaction to raccoons in her backyard. So, no need to worry if big parts of your life are off limits for your social media. People are more interested in the small things and your commentary on them anyway.

Find your social community

If your nearest and dearest don’t want to be on camera, find people who do! Make friends with folks who are comfortable being in the spotlight. And, if you’re really gunning to make a mark via social media, it’s smart to hang out with people who have similar goals from time to time. You can exchange best practices and help each other’s follower counts grow.

Check in

Circle back with your loved ones every now and then to make sure you’re respecting their boundaries and double check that their boundaries haven’t shifted. Maybe after seeing how you use social media, they’ll be more comfortable with being featured. Or it could go the other way and they could need even more privacy if you’ve gotten more popular. It’s good to check in so you can be super sure you’re respecting the people who are most important in your life.

Happy social media-ing! Comment below with your handles and a brief description of your feed if you want some extra followers! You biggest fan or next social media bestie could be reading this post right now.