What’s the “right” age to get pregnant for the first time? 33- according to actress Kirsten Dunst.
“I’m in baby mode because two of my really good friends are pregnant right now,” Dunst, who’s 33rd birthday is next April, said in a recent interview with Red magazine. “I think 33 is a good age to have your first baby.”
Of course there’s no right or wrong age to get pregnant (well, 14 might not be in the “right” category come to think of it), but in addition to Kirsten Dunst, there’s another person who believes – strongly, very strongly, that 33 is the magical age.
He hasn’t had any blockbuster films or single hits at the top of the charts, but his opinion matters more to me personally than any celeb – I’m talking about my husband.
Oh, did I mention my 33rd birthday is coming up on September 1st?
Now you get it.
My husband thinks 33 is the right time. My husband thinks yesterday and last month were the right times too.
Not even a full year into marriage and he is knock, knock, knocking on my door for a variety of reasons – the main one of course being age because he wants us to be “young parents.” Honey, that ship has sailed. We aren’t old but we sure aren’t young.
I come at the age discussion with a different perspective given the fact that my mom gave birth to my brother when she was 41 and he just turned 21 – Happy Birthday, Joey! You do the math . As much as I don’t want to wait THAT long and challenge the fertility gods even more than I need to, I don’t feel as rushed.
I want to be clear by saying I am NOT complaining or criticizing my husband, and he is by no means pressuring me into anything. I am thankful to have a husband who has abandoned his frat boy party days and is counting down the days until he becomes a father. Well, counting down the days if it’s a boy; having a daughter, a mini-me who talks nonstop, is another story.
But do I think it’s the right time? I’m still trying to figure that out.
Did I mention I’m writing this column on an American Airlines flight to Cancun for an all-expenses paid press trip to Punta Nizuc including spa treatments, all the margaritas and tacos I could dream of and luxury accommodations at the fabulous Nizuc Resort and Spa?
Do you “kind of” see my inner conflict? Scaling back on so many of the things I love – work, included – seems just a tad daunting.
Yes, I know a baby will bring me more joy than any of the very best days of my career, and I know once I have a child (God willing), I will be so in love with that child that I will wish I became a mom years ago (until that child starts talking back – then I will wish I was still traveling the world). And I am very excited to be a mom though not as excited about the whole pregnancy part- this coming from the biggest hypochondriac. The question is not IF I want a child (again – God willing), it’s more so when.
Many people say you will know when you are ready, while others say you will never be ready. Gee, thanks, folks, for telling me absolutely nothing. A pregnant friend and fellow career woman I had dinner with a week ago, who, like me, waited until her 30s to get married and get pregnant, said she knew she was ready when looking at pregnant women – friends and strangers alike – began making her feel envy. At first she wasn’t quite sure what she was feeling, and then she came to realize it was her biological clock -alarm clock – finally going off.
My gyno’s magic number is 35. Correction: when I told him I wanted ideally 4 kids, he took a deep breath, composed himself and then very calmly told me to get home and get to work today, if not yesterday. I never should have relayed that story to my husband – I have not heard the end of it.
Whatever my gyno says, my husband says and Kirsten Dunst says, it seems to me there is no real “magic” number that might be pushing it.
What do you think? How old were you when you had your first kid? And how did you know you were ready?