Today I want to talk to you about how important it is to state your truth when it comes to dating. How many of you know your truth? Do you understand what you want from a man? Do you know what type of man you’re looking for in your life?
I’m not talking about the way he looks, and whether he’s tall and slim. I’m not even talking about how much money he has or the car he drives. I’m talking about the real emotional truth about what you desire. Most people who aren’t in a committed relationship, are still single because they lie to themselves. That’s right. You lie to yourself that you can be happy with someone who isn’t everything you need in a lover. Recently, a lady client of mine proved this point perfectly. She’s started seeing a new man. They get on great, and she really likes him. The trouble is, he has a super low sex drive.
And when I say low, I mean this guy wouldn’t complain if he only had sex once every other month. But here’s the problem. My client loves sex. My client is an incredibly sexual and passionate woman, and sex is extremely important to her. She loves pleasing her man, and she sees sex as a vital ingredient to any good relationship. This new guy tells her not to worry about it, and to use a dildo if he’s not in the mood. She cares about him and wants it to work, but she’s lying to herself if she thinks it will .
It’s usually your Mom or your Grandmother who used to say things like, “If you can’t have the one you want, love the one you’re with.” Or, “You can’t have everything so be satisfied with what you have.”
She’s lying to herself because she wants to be with this guy, even though he can’t give her what she needs. She’s depriving her like so many woman do, because of limiting beliefs that someone fed into your brain years ago. It’s usually your Mom or your Grandmother who used to say things like, “If you can’t have the one you want, love the one you’re with.” Or, “You can’t have everything so be satisfied with what you have.”
Now you go around believing you should be happy with whatever you can get, and now you accept far less from men that you deserve. You’re prepared to give up the things that truly make you happy because you don’t believe you deserve any more.
I’m going to give you a new mindset today, because I believe you should expect more and deserve everything. Sure, you need to compromise in relationships. Not every relationship is perfect and there will always be the odd up and down.
There may be minor differences in the things you both like. You might love going to the beach and laying in the sun all day. Your man might like going exploring and seeing the sites. Maybe your favorite food is Italian, and his favorite food is Vietnamese. He might like a few beers on a night out, where you don’t touch a drop. Sure, there are differences, but these are all very small things that don’t affect who you really are. It’s only when your inner wants and desires are denied this becomes a problem.
That’s why you should never hide who you are, and what you really want from love.
Don’t lie about what you want, because you don’t want to risk things not working out.
Don’t lie about what you want, because you don’t want to risk things not working out. Relationships based on a lie will fall apart at some point anyway so you’re only delaying the inevitable. Look at past relationships you’ve had and why they ended. Do you find a pattern emerging? Do you see some of the same mistakes showing themselves over and over?
Most relationships break down when your partner compromises one of your core values and needs. You need to tell men what you want from them. You need to tell men how you want them to love you. If it matches what he wants from love, and if he can give you what you need, he’ll be up for it.
Your truth is the only thing that will make you happy long term.
Find out who he is. Make sure his values match yours, and that he wants the same things you do. Ask him what makes an amazing date to HIM. Find out what great sex means to HIM. Ask him what love means to HIM. Get him to define it, and see if it matches the things you want. Your truth is all you have. Your truth is who you are. And your truth is the only thing that will make you happy long term.
Don’t be afraid of your truth. It’s what makes you unique, and it’s what’s going to lead you into the arms of your ideal man.