Patti's Blog

When Is Too Soon To Move On?


Anyone else as shocked by Jennifer Lawrence moving on to dating Chris Martin just weeks after her split with longtime boyfriend Nicholas Hoult? I was downright stunned at first, mostly because I think Jennifer Lawrence is super young and needs to discover herself as a single lady before diving into another relationship. That being said, Jennifer Lawrence is very private about her romantic life, which I very much applaud. So, who knows when she actually broke up with Nicholas Hoult? It could have been weeks or even months before we found out. But, this piece of celeb gossip got me thinking about moving on and when is too soon. Here are some questions to ask yourself before you move on to a new relationship.

Are you broken up?

Have you fully and completely broken up with your current man? So many women, and men, out there move on emotionally or even physically before their current relationship is actually over. And, duh, this is moving on too soon. Way too soon. I don’t care if you and your current partner are “basically over” or “totally on the rocks.” You need to have that final conversation and fully communicate that the relationship is over. And I mean over over. Not just on a break. I don’t believe in breaks. If you’re planning on getting physically or emotionally involved with someone new, don’t do it during a break. Do it after the relationship is already broken, k?

Are you truly over your last person?

I’m not saying you can’t date until you’re fully healed from your previous relationship. I mean, come on, does anyone ever fully heal from anything? No. You get better, for sure, but you’re shaped and scarred and made by your previous relationship experiences. What I mean here is, do want to get back together with your ex? If the answer is yes, do not date someone new until you’re happy enough being single that you’re not fantasizing about getting back together with an ex. The only way to have a happy, healthy relationship is to be happy and healthy. Let yourself get over your ex before you jump into something new, so you give that new thing a chance!

What was the break up like?

There are no hard and fast rules for moving on. It’s not like, 30 days post break up is officially go time. Or, I’ve also heard that “rule” that you should take half as long as the length of your relationship to be single before moving on to someone new. That’s all total bull. Gauge for yourself what feels right. Every relationship is different, every break up is different and every heart is different. Only you know what’s right and healthy for you.

Good luck out there, my recently single ladies. Know that with a little emotional healing, you’ll be back out there in dating-land and will find your forever person before you know it!